Happy What?

Oh yeah.... Happy Valentines Day. 

I have never been great at Valentines Day. Especially before I was married, I forgot it was V-day every year.

I could never understand why some of my roommates would mope around, it's just like any other day, right?

Well I was going to tell you how I semi-botched / it was the best valentines day ever three years ago.

But I will start out by telling you how I already ruined today. 

It's 7:42am.

If after I feed Bridget she goes back to sleep then so do I. So I am rarely up when Trevor leaves for work. But for some reason after I fed her at 7:00 I couldn't go back to sleep so I came downstairs to start writing my valentines day post.

Nope, I didn't even think: "It would be really nice if I made breakfast, or pack a lunch or something for Trevor today."

I just came down and sat on my booty.

Well I heard Trevor go out into the garage so I thought he was grabbing a tool or something. 

He often needs tools when he is pouring himself a bowl of cereal. No, but really it didn't throw me off that he would be out there, he loves his garage.

What did make me curious was how long he was out there. I kept thinking, "is he trying to paint a coat on the dresser before work? He is going to be so late!"

So I went out to see what he was doing. 

He whirled around with the guiltiest face. 

It was like a caught a 4-year-old scribbling with permanent marker on my walls.

He had a beautiful rose in his hand.

"Oh no! I am so sorry! I was wondering what was taking you so long, I came out to help."

"You aren't supposed to even be awake right now!"

I spoiled the surprise. 

He also got me a box of chocolate covered strawberries and a beautiful card. 

My awful timing aside, he is an incredible man. I am so lucky to have him.

Which brings me to...Valentines Day 2009:

I actually need to rewind about a month. 

In January 2009 Trevor and I had been dating for a while and we started talking about getting married. 

I felt it necessary to tell him

"When you propose don't do anything too cheesy or cliche."

"Like what?" he asked.

"Well, like on Valentines day or anywhere near a temple."

You see we had met while going to school at BYU-Idaho, and I am going to throw out a statistic here and say 70% of engaged couples got engaged on temple grounds. 

Basically I had felt like it was overdone and I wanted something a bit more original.

So what did he do?

I am sure you have picked up on the foreshadowing here, but like any romantic comedy I will go on even though you know what's going to happen.

His family came down from Idaho to go through the open house for the draper temple before it was dedicated. 

It happened to be on Valentines Day. 

My parents also decided to come with us and as we were all walking though the temple we got to the sealing rooms. 

There was an usher standing near an altar in the middle of the room, he caught eye contact with me and Trevor and waved us over. 

He started whispering "look into the mirrors, they are placed that way so it looks as if you go on forever. It's symbolic."

I whispered back: "It's beautiful. Actually we are going to be married here in June."

(I was one of those girls who had already scheduled and picked out a date before I even had a ring on my finger.)

"Oh wow, congratulations." he responded.

"Yes just one thing left to do." Trevor piped in.

Then he turned to me and knelt down on one knee and asked me to marry him.

"Are you kidding me?" was my reply. 

Because you see, I thought it was a joke. He was doing exactly what I told him not to do. 

When I realized the little box in his hand with a gorgeous diamond ring inside meant it wasn't a joke I quickly replied with an emphatic "Yes!"

When he got up to hug me he was sweating excessively.

I was concerned so I asked, "Are you ok?"

 

"I thought you were going to say 'No'."

Oops.

Poor guy has to deal with me everyday of the year.

He proved me a fool though because it was the most wonderful Valentines day I ever had.

You can't take pictures inside the temple so here is a picture of the room we were in when he proposed. It was so memorable and sweet. 

I LOVE YOU TREVOR MILLAR!!

3:30 AM

The past few nights 3:30am has been a very active time at our house.

Last night when Bridget woke up for her nightly feeding she ate like normal and nearing the end I was getting ready to put her back in her bed when she decided it would be an excellent time for a poop. 

But not just a poop, a blowout. 
I know it doesn't look that bad, but it was everywhere.

 I thought I could just wipe her down and head back to bed but it required a bath.

Baths in the middle of the night aren't the best baths, I tend to be impatient. 

Bridge seemed to enjoy it.

 It's funny, babies don't seem to apply to any of the social rules, 

I get so happy every time she poops. 

Even when it's at 3:30AM.

Everyone's nicer after a bowel movement.

That brings us to a few nights before.

I get up with Bridget in the night and 98% of the time Trevor sleeps through any noise she or I makes. Which I am grateful for, I would feel bad if he were a light sleeper. 

On this night I was up feeding Bridget, Trevor didn't stir when I got up to get her.

Usually when I feed her in the night I sit in the chair with my head down and doze until she's ready to change sides.

I had my head down when I felt someone touch me! 

It came from deep in my gut, a raspy explosion out of my mouth: 

"OH MY GOSH!"

As I gripped my baby tighter to my body in a protective hold,

I started swinging my other arm ready to do some lasting damage to my perpetrator.

"Oh, Whoa! Hey!" 

It was Trevor.

He had come in on his way to the bathroom and decided to stop and was giving me a kiss on the forehead when he was assaulted. 

But the damage was done.

Adrenaline was pumping through my veins.

Bridget was crying.

And Trevor had some pretty good slap marks.

Have you ever watched the discovery channel, Trevor?

They call us Mama Bear for a reason. 

It took us all a little while to get back to sleep.

We love 3:30 in the morning.

It's the new 9:00.

Fired - extended version - part 3

So that all happened on a Monday.

I didn’t hear from them until Saturday.

Nancylynn called me and asked if I could come in.

I get there and go back to the office, we sit down and she says,

“Well they came back with a decision and it wasn’t in our favor so we are going to have to let you go.”

I was floored.

I, for the life of me, could not see how they could ever fire me over this or else I would have quit.

“Well can I quit so I don’t have a fire on my record?”

“No, you are already out of the system.”

“You just screwed me over then, it’s going to be so much harder to find a job.”

“No, by law we don’t have to disclose why you were fired. And even then it doesn’t say you were fired for theft just inability to follow policies.”

“Nancylynn, I know for a fact that the hiring process at Ross has a question that asks if you have ever been fired and if you check yes that application gets disposed of and it never even gets to human eyes.”

“Oh, I see what you mean.”

“Nancylynn, do you feel like the punishment fit the crime?”

“Well they are trying to be consistent with anything that needs disciplinary action, that’s why they had to fire both you and Scott.”

“Consistent? What about some of your employees that everyday are at least a half hour late? Or those that stash merchandise and wait for it to go on clearance before they buy it? Or the people that have come into work drunk? 

So do YOU think the punishment fit the crime?”

“I have fired two people for coming into work drunk.” 

“But not all, so where is the consistency?”

At this point I am so done and just ready to get out of there. It was a nice day and now I was looking forward to spending it in the sun.

“What do you need me to sign?”

As I was walking out I turned to her and asked, "Was I not an good employee for you?"

(at this point she starts to get hysterical)

"No, no you were perfect! You were the best! You were the one I had in line for management! I never wanted to loose you!"

"Well......good luck to you." And I walked out.

A month after all of this I got a fantastic job at a design center where I was getting paid more and I had a way better work schedule. Three months after that I got my job at xango, which I did love. Now I get to be Bridget's mama which is by far the best job I have ever had.

Nancylynn and Brian both still work at Ross Dress for Less. 

Bless their hearts.

Fired - Extended Version - Part 2

An entire TWO WEEKS goes by. I have all but forgotten about the whole situation when I am called back to the back office.

I head back thinking it probably had something to do with the two girls I had been training. 

I walk in and Nancylynn closes the door behind me and tells me to have a seat. There sitting in front of me was the corporate loss prevention guy, Matt.

Matt turns to me and with his head in his hands heaving big sighs, and in a tone of deep disappointment (like I had just committed murder) says,

“Tell me about this candy incident.”

“Uh……………….”

What?? I am looking around thinking, Am I being punked? Where is Ashton?

(all the while my manager, Nancylynn won’t look at me.)

“Well, it was a while ago, let me remember.”

“We know you are guilty, we have the surveillance tape. I just want to know what you were talking about as you sneak around eating the candy.”

Sneak around?

Now I realize sometimes I can do dumb things but somehow I managed to graduate college. And even though I didn’t learn to look for cameras at college, I guess my street cred gave me that experience.

And somehow after working there for 6 months I may have noticed the very obvious cameras that were directed at each register. But I am sure he was right, I was probably sneaking around in the direct line of vision for the cameras to pick it up.

“Well, we were discussing how one of the flavors tasted like chocolate covered cinnamon bears and how much we loved those. So, yeah, mostly we were talking about chocolate covered cinnamon bears.”

“I see. You seem like a good person.”

“Yeah I am a good person.”

“This is a first time offense?”

“Yes sir, I have never even been late to work.”

“You realize that you took something that wasn’t yours, this is just like if you were to take a pair of jeans and run out of the store.”

“Uh…alright.”

“This is the same as if I were to go into your purse and take a piece of gum.”

"Ok." You could have a piece of gum, especially if I was going to throw the gum away.

“This would be the same if I were to go into your purse and take a thousand dollars.”

“You are right, I am sorry. It was really dumb and I will never do it again.”

“So I will tell you what’s going to happen now. We do this in a very unbiased way, I do the investigation and then I talk with two other corporate people and we make a decision. I will go make a few calls. I will also need you to sign this document saying you will pay for the item you ate, lets see the price divided by two means you owe $2.66.”

“Can’t I just give you the $2.66? Do I have to sign this document?”

“Well the document says that we hand this part over to an attorney and any additional attorney fees you will have to pay for as well.”

WHAT?? 

Of course this is already after I signed it.

Matt goes to make his phone calls and leaves me there with my spineless manager Nancylynn who still won't look me in the eyes. At this point I am crying because I am humiliated and I cannot believe that this measly little thing has been escalated into a felony.

Nancylynn, while looking at the floor says,

“It’s like that general conference talk, I don’t remember who gave it: come what may and love it.”

Excuse me?? That, is what you are going to say to me?

Matt comes back and says, “Well I couldn’t get a hold of the other people so we are going to have to put you on assisted leave, which means you have to leave the premises immediately and cannot work until we determine if you will be terminated or not.”

“ok, this actually works out great because I am substitute teaching and I really need to research the lessons.”

Matt looks at Nancylynn like that wasn't the reaction he wanted from me after he delivered such a heavy blow. 

I am thinking, SWEET, I don't have to close for the next few nights like I was scheduled to do.

“And if you talk about this with any one else involved you will be terminated immediately.”

**This whole situation happened about 2 1/2 years ago when I worked for Ross. Not my current predicament with being laid off while on maternity leave from xango.

Fired - extended version - part 1

Just after Trevor and I were married we moved back to Utah (we had been living in Philadelphia for 2 months) and in with my parents.

We were desperate to find jobs; I was hired at Ross Dress for Less as their Front End Supervisor…. a cashier.

If you shop at Ross (which I still do, no hard feelings) you may have noticed their “Loss Prevention” people. They look like security guards, although here is a secret from me to you; they can’t do anything. Basically they are glorified Walmart greeters.

They do have a few additional duties other than saying hello and goodbye to people. Every couple of hours they walk around the store looking for stashed merchandise, broken items, cut hard tags, etc.

One day one of the loss prevention guys, Brian, (actual name, there are no innocent people in this story to protect) found a container full of these chocolate covered candy sticks that had been torn open and some of them were missing.

Via

At Ross they have a bucket called MOS, I can’t for the life of me remember what that stands for but that is the bucket we put all the stuff that is damaged or when people returned things that is broken and couldn't be resold. Everything that is going to be thrown away we put in this bucket so the manager can make a note that the item was damaged and not stolen, then into the trash compactor it goes, no matter what condition it’s in.

So Brian put this container with these candies in the MOS bucket and ended his shift.

Later in the evening, I was still there. Scott was the Loss Prevention guy working that night, I like Scott, we are buddies. Things were slow so I was back behind the counter scanning in the returns while we chatted.

There were a few of the candies up on the return counter so I was looking at them. They had names like: chocolate kahlua, cinnamon schnapps, and mint julep.  

I said, “there is no way these have actual liquor in them.” 

I pulled the container out of the MOS bucket to double check the ingredients.

Nope, no actual liquor.

So I had to try them, at least one of every flavor.

Scott was standing there so I offered some to him; it was dinnertime after all.

The next day I was working as was Brian. The Manager on duty, Niki, came up and started to pull everything out of MOS to take back to the trash compactor. Brian saw the container of candy and said,

“Hey that had more candy in it when I found it.”

So I said, “Yeah, I tried them, they are actually really good!”

“Well if you had some that means Scott had some too.”

“Yeah, sure, we all had some.”

“That is against Scott’s job description.”

Now I don’t know if Brian had a personal vendetta against Scott, or if he was just extremely honest.

I see him start to bee-line it to the back room, where our store manager, Nancylynn was.

Oh seriously, I thought. So I head back there as well.

I walk into her office as he is standing over her shoulder and they have the surveillance tape up from the night before.

They hear me come in and quickly shut down the tape like I caught them doing something they weren’t supposed to.

“Oh” I say, “Are you guys talking about last night? I can just tell you what happened. I ate some of the damaged candy that was in the MOS bin that Brian found yesterday. I realize now that it was probably wrong of me to just go ahead and eat it but I justified it because it was going to be thrown away anyway. Can I buy it now?”

Nancylynn responds “No, you can’t buy it. It’s not you I’m worried about, it’s Scott.”

“Why? I was the one who had the idea and gave some to Scott, it’s not his fault or responsibility, it is mine. I can write up a statement if you want.”

“Well we will have to see, I need to decide if I am going to report this to corporate or not.”

“Uh……..ok.” 




**This whole situation happened about 2 1/2 years ago when I worked for Ross. Not my current predicament with being laid off while on maternity leave from xango.

Fired - short version

I was fired for eating candy out of the garbage. 

True story.

No Such Thing as Job Security

I know with these tough economic times more and more of us are realizing that job security is an illusion.


But I am in a perfect situation, maternity leave. 


What I know about the Family Medical Leave of Absence Act is that I can take up to 12 weeks off work (unpaid) for the birth of my child and my position would be guaranteed for me when I got back. 


So my job is protected for me by the law. 
You can't get more secure than that.
 Right? 
Wrong.


A little over a week ago I was laid off from my job at xango. 


I wasn't the only one laid off many people were, and each person obviously needed their job. 


But I was the only one laid off while on maternity leave, and as you can imagine me being laid off spread through the office like wild fire. 


There is no such thing as job security.


When I got the phone call I was nursing my sweet baby girl. I entered the conversation thinking it was the girl who was temporarily taking over my job responsibilities, she usually called or emailed me several times a week with questions. 


It was not her on the other line.


It was so unexpected that I was incredibly chipper and understanding the whole time. When I hung up it started to sink in.


I don't have a job anymore. 


I had 2 weeks left of my maternity leave and then I was going to go back part-time for a little while before starting back up full-time. 


Every Monday I would get a pang of deep sorrow when I looked at my sweet Bridget and thought, I have to leave you (But she is so little!!!) in four weeks.... (She can't survive without me!) in three weeks.... (I can't survive without her!) in two weeks.....   


It didn't matter that it would only be for two hours everyday and she would be with her Grammy, It was the hardest thing I think I would ever have to do.


So when I hung up the phone and started to cry, I had to make myself evaluate these tears. What kind were they? 


Sure enough, they were tears of joy.


Luckily we started to really tighten our budget and make sure everything would be taken care of with Trevor's income while I was on maternity leave. So for now I am a stay at home mom! OFFICIALLY!


BUT it didn't matter that the situation is perfect for me in the end, it always hurts to be rejected. 


Doesn't matter if it's personal or business, it always feels personal.


However, being laid off is way easier than being FIRED. 
Which reminds me of another story. 
The story of when I was fired from Ross Dress for Less. 


It's a good one. 
So stay tuned.


But for now, I'll get back to my job....

I will continue to look for another job, probably something part-time that I can do from home.

Fashion Advice: How to Thriftstore

So yesterday I told you that today you would get to hear all about my best thrift store find.

Are you excited?

Seriously prepare yourself to be jealous.

Here's how it went down.

I went to school at BYU-Idaho, let's be honest there isn't a whole lot to do in the small town of Rexburg. Which was actually perfect because we learned to make our own fun.

We would attend a lot of the activities the school put on, it was a tradition every couple of semesters to have a "D.I. Dance"

D.I.aka Deseret Industries. (Basically "Good Will")

Lizzy (roommate / bff) and I loved dances.

We would go to workout.

Really, we would.

We would get in our sweats and go down to the local club (Club Stratta) and dance so hard we would drip sweat.

TMI?

Maybe we did it for the attention? While everyone else was bumping and grinding those watching us would get to experience our best '80's aerobics moves.

BUT D.I. dances were the favorite, always the perfect excuse to go shopping at D.I.

So this particular time we went to the Idaho Falls D.I. because it's not nearly as picked over as the Rexburg one. Once inside we divided to conquer, about 15 minutes later we met up in the middle to show off our spoils.

As she is showing me some incredible lycra pants I say "I think I have those in Blue."

Then it hit me, a sad sad realization:

 I already own everything D.I. has to offer!

Totally dejected we start to leave thinking we will just have to put something together from the 5 bins of costumes we had in our storage.

But then something catches my eye...

I see some rubber boots hanging behind a bunch of flannel shirts.

As we get closer and peel back all the lumberjack wear we unveil one of the most amazing ensembles I have ever seen!

FISHING WADERS!

At this point in my life I actually had never been fishing but it doesn't take an expert to know it's always a good idea to have fishing waders.

We took them off the hook and right then and there slipped them over our clothes.... perfect fit!

We wore them up to the cash register where we paid $15 for our priceless finds.

As we were leaving an older gentleman says to me, "You are going to need to get a belt for those waders, you get any water in them they will anchor you to the floor of the crick."

Noted. "Oh, thanks."

Look at the utter joy on that face.

 Here we are at the dance... sweating our guts out in the rubber suits.

 Then of course I needed to test them out in the hot tub to see if they would anchor me to the ground.

Proud to say my $15 waders had no holes.

AND they made my hot tub experience more enjoyable.

Whoops

OK, imagine, you are on a first date, better yet a blind date! I seriously hope everyone who reads this has had or will have the opportunity at at least one blind date in their lives. It's a right of passage, you haven't really lived until you have been on a blind date.

This post actually has nothing to do with blind dates although my friend Nycole has had her fair share of them and I keep trying to get her to write a book about all her dating experiences. It would be a "pee-your-pants-laughing-so-hard" kind of book.

So you are on this date, it's typical, awkward, especially at the beginning as you try to get to know one another. After you have exhausted all the regular questions:

-What are you studying?

-Where do you work?

-How many siblings do you have?

-If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would it be?

The salads haven't even come out yet so you move on to the next round of questions. Here it comes...

-What is your most embarrassing moment??

Now I don't get embarrassed easily and maybe what others think are embarrassing I just don't, so I never had a great answer for this question. Until one day I pretty much had a horrifying experience and I thought to myself after it all "you know what, that was pretty embarrassing." 

  

It was my Senior year. I was 17 years old. I was getting ready to go to college and had joined this club called PLT (peer leadership team) It was a service club. It was a blast, a lot of my friends were in the club, and we got to do some really great things. One thing in particular was that we would go to local Elementary schools and teach the kids who were behind in their classes how to read. One day we were at a training for this program which was an all day thing. We had just had lunch and returned to the room where we were all mingling before the next series of trainings began. I was in a small group of girls chatting when I looked over at one of my buddies, Joe Bishop (the name has been changed to protect the innocent).

Joe is a really nice guy. Everybody likes Joe, he was our senior class president. Another nice thing about Joe is that he is a pretty unconventional guy. He was also the founder / president of the unicycle club and is just a funny, quirky guy.

As I looked over at Joe he had a long rope like thing hanging out of his pocket, intentional, like those guys that have the chains hanging off their belts.

When I saw it I immediately thought of boondoggle.

You remember boondoggle, right? Super cool in 4th grade? Long strip of plastic you can get in any color imaginable that you make into killer key chains (Napoleon Dynamite anyone?)

Oh good, now that you remember I won't look as stupid as I finish this story.

Where was I, oh yes, boondoggle hanging out of his pocket. (he is a pretty unique guy, not unbelievable for him to really have boondoggle hanging out of his pocket.) But not only was it boondoggle it was GLOW IN THE DARK boondoggle. How did I know? Glow in the dark stuff is always the same color, as indicated in the picture above.

So what do I do? In mid conversation I yell out "BOONDOGGLE!!!!" and I lunge to grab hold of the plastic cord. Very unfortunate Joe happened to be turning away from me at the same moment I grabbed hold of the hoop. It all happened so quickly and I was having a hard time processing why I heard a yelp of pain as the boondoggle released from the pocket and remained clutched in my hand.

As it was taking years for everything to click in my brain, one teeny tiny detail about Joe shot to the forefront of my mind making me gasp audibly.

Joe Bishop has diabetes.

Do you know what that means?

Oh yes it does, it means I ripped poor Joe's insulin pump out of his stomach... all in the name of boondoggle.

With a shaky hand I gave back his insulin pump and in a hushed voice I said "oh.... I am so sorry."

In response Joe said: "I need this insulin, I had a pop at lunch."

Yikes!

After a solid 15 min of watching him poke himself in the stomach he finally got it in and all was well. I don't know what is was like for him, but for me it was utter torture.

I was so horrified I didn't tell anyone what had happened but for the next few days people kept coming up to me saying "So I heard you almost killed our president?"

Word spread like wildfire and even months later we could be in a group of people and if there was a lull in the conversation somebody would just say "boondoggle" and everyone would crack up (including Joe).

The moral to this story:

Your mom's not kidding when she says keep your hands to yourself.

Memories in the Making

I have some great memories from my old house, the house I lived in until I was 9. But one of the greatest memories I have was of the big grape vine we had along the side of our house. In the late Summer those grapes would get nice and ripe and diffuse the most intoxicating aroma. To this day if I get a whiff of that smell I am immediately a child again. We would pick them by the handfuls and gobble them up as we played "fairies" or "dust storm" or "wolves"or..... I could go on, I had a very active imagination, but in the most general term my games were very dramatic interpretations of  "house."

But then, we moved. 
To a beautiful home on the mountain (which was fantastic because now my games had a legit setting to them).  Unfortunately the grapes did not follow. But something else sprung up (because that's how it happens, I definitely didn't see my dad plant them) and has been creating memories with our family every Summer since.

cue: The Raspberry Patch!

Somehow it gathers us together, we all return during harvest time to pick the berries, and make jam.

There are no such thing as child labor laws around here.

Everyone helps.

I am sure Bridget will love the Raspberry patch, she already LOVES the jam. she squirms with pleasure every time I eat it.

What Summer memories do you have?

A Recipe To Get A Husband

Judging by my post title you might think I have a cheesy poem like:
1 cup of confidence
3/4 cup of friendship
a dash of makeup
Bake for 6 months slowly raising the temperature and VOILA! You have yourself one genuine husband!

But no, I have an actual recipe that will get you an actual husband.

I have proof.

If you have read the little "bio" towards the bottom of this page you will notice I said that I "wooed Trevor on a popular social media." So here for your viewing pleasure you can read what awkward great flirters we are: (you need to start at the bottom and read up to get it in order.)

Yes that's right, all my single ladies, the recipe to getting yourself a husband is:

BRAN MUFFINS!

Not only is this recipe delicious, it will keep everyone who consumes it "regular."

It's a win, win, win situation.

I have to give credit where credit is due, this is my sister Monica's recipe, whom is a phenomenal cook. I do not joke, she has indeed been asked if she took "cooking classes in heaven." I can't make this stuff up (but apparently the equivalent to Mr. Collins in modern form can, as he used this exceptional pick-up line at a Sunday dinner that included her husband and 5 children. Poor bloke is still the brunt of many Steed jokes today.)

Bran Muffins:
(Add ingredients in order)

4 cups All Bran

1 cup shortening

2 cups boiling water
(after you pour the water in let stand 2 min then stir together.)

2 cups sugar
1 quart buttermilk
5 cups flour
4 beaten eggs
5 tsp soda
2 tsp salt
350 degrees - 15 min

The best part about this recipe is that it makes a ton aaaannnd it's refrigeratable!!!!! Which means I pull the bran muffin mixture out of my fridge each morning, plop them into the muffin tin and in 15 min I have fresh homemade muffins!!!! I can get 12 muffins every morning for about 4-5 mornings. Best breakfast ever.

My batter that I pulled out of the fridge:

Plop.

and done!

And that my friends, is how I got myself the most incredible man I have ever met!