A Recipe To Get A Husband

Judging by my post title you might think I have a cheesy poem like:
1 cup of confidence
3/4 cup of friendship
a dash of makeup
Bake for 6 months slowly raising the temperature and VOILA! You have yourself one genuine husband!

But no, I have an actual recipe that will get you an actual husband.

I have proof.

If you have read the little "bio" towards the bottom of this page you will notice I said that I "wooed Trevor on a popular social media." So here for your viewing pleasure you can read what awkward great flirters we are: (you need to start at the bottom and read up to get it in order.)

Yes that's right, all my single ladies, the recipe to getting yourself a husband is:

BRAN MUFFINS!

Not only is this recipe delicious, it will keep everyone who consumes it "regular."

It's a win, win, win situation.

I have to give credit where credit is due, this is my sister Monica's recipe, whom is a phenomenal cook. I do not joke, she has indeed been asked if she took "cooking classes in heaven." I can't make this stuff up (but apparently the equivalent to Mr. Collins in modern form can, as he used this exceptional pick-up line at a Sunday dinner that included her husband and 5 children. Poor bloke is still the brunt of many Steed jokes today.)

Bran Muffins:
(Add ingredients in order)

4 cups All Bran

1 cup shortening

2 cups boiling water
(after you pour the water in let stand 2 min then stir together.)

2 cups sugar
1 quart buttermilk
5 cups flour
4 beaten eggs
5 tsp soda
2 tsp salt
350 degrees - 15 min

The best part about this recipe is that it makes a ton aaaannnd it's refrigeratable!!!!! Which means I pull the bran muffin mixture out of my fridge each morning, plop them into the muffin tin and in 15 min I have fresh homemade muffins!!!! I can get 12 muffins every morning for about 4-5 mornings. Best breakfast ever.

My batter that I pulled out of the fridge:

Plop.

and done!

And that my friends, is how I got myself the most incredible man I have ever met!