Deep Thoughts - On Breastfeeding - Part Deux

By: Jack Handy April Millar

 *Breastfeeding is excellent for posture. You no longer have the desire to slouch because when you do your nipples touch your belly button.

*After watching Bridget play with my empty water bottle I thought "Water bottles are shaped like breasts." So in essence, none of us have given up the boob.

*Don't buy your nursing bra two days after you give birth when your boobs are engorged. After a couple weeks you could put both boobs and a fist in one of the cups to try and fill it out. And after a couple of months you will never wear it again because it's so large your baby could sit in it.

*The breast pump will become your best friend, maybe even before your husband.

*If your baby starts to prefer the bottle over you, so you make her eat only from you, but then you decide one day to give her a bottle again, don't be surprised when she gags. 

*Breastfeeding definitely gets better: I trained Bridget to tickle my neck whenever she is eating.

Deep Thoughts: on breastfeeding

By: Jack Handy April Millar

*Each time the milk "comes in" it feels like a brain-freeze... in your breasts.

*When breastfeeding, life is so much better without a shirt on. Cultures whose women don't wear tops is not because they are third world, it's because they are smart.

*People should not be offended when seeing a woman breastfeed in public, they should be impressed. To discreetly breastfeed is quite a talent. and if discreetly means a grown woman with a blanket over her head and partial breast exposure, then count me in. There will be no hiding this talent under a bushel. 

*Believe people when they say the pain from latching on and the blood from the cracked nipples goes away. Just don't count on the time line they give you. Your boobs now have a mind of their own (thus the reason they can get brain freezes) so they will heal when they feel like it.

*If it seems that your milk is having an effect more like butter than milk and is apparent by the rate at which your babies cheeks are growing, be proud.

*If one of your breasts seems to not have an "off" valve and will leak without restraint, try putting a bottle under it to catch the drops. You may end up with 2 1/2 ounces of saved breast milk with each feeding and can completely gross people out when you tell people you are feeding her with your drippings.