Monday, November 7, 2011

Deep Thoughts: on breastfeeding

By: Jack Handy April Millar

*Each time the milk "comes in" it feels like a brain-freeze... in your breasts.

*When breastfeeding, life is so much better without a shirt on. Cultures whose women don't wear tops is not because they are third world, it's because they are smart.

*People should not be offended when seeing a woman breastfeed in public, they should be impressed. To discreetly breastfeed is quite a talent. and if discreetly means a grown woman with a blanket over her head and partial breast exposure, then count me in. There will be no hiding this talent under a bushel. 

*Believe people when they say the pain from latching on and the blood from the cracked nipples goes away. Just don't count on the time line they give you. Your boobs now have a mind of their own (thus the reason they can get brain freezes) so they will heal when they feel like it.

*If it seems that your milk is having an effect more like butter than milk and is apparent by the rate at which your babies cheeks are growing, be proud.

*If one of your breasts seems to not have an "off" valve and will leak without restraint, try putting a bottle under it to catch the drops. You may end up with 2 1/2 ounces of saved breast milk with each feeding and can completely gross people out when you tell people you are feeding her with your drippings.


  1. LOL! Drippings! Did you know that they make something called Milkies to catch those drippings. I never tried them but I've heard good things about them.

  2. Oh man, April. I'm loving these posts. I seriously have no idea when it comes to anything babies and need all the info I can get!

  3. Love your deep thoughts! There is a gel pad that is called more skin that soothes cracked nipples. It won't take it away, but it sure makes it hurt less. You should give it a try. It saved my life with isla.

  4. i was also going to tell you about those Milkies - im going to try them next time cause im sure i waste a LOT of milk with D when i nursed her (not like it lasted long - so depressing).
    But that picture CRACKS me up. how cute! gotta love chunky chubby cheeks.

  5. These are so funny, April! Love your deep thoughts. When my milk comes in it's the same feeling I get when my leg falls asleep and the blood comes back in, but I like your brain freeze analogy!

  6. This post just makes me smile! I have experienced all those things with breastfeeding. They really do have a mind of their own. Just a couple of days ago I had a plugged milk duct, not fun! It's like you have a painful boulder in your boob. I hope you don't have that experience ever. You baby girl is adorable. The babes make it all worth it.

  7. You are hilarious April! I love it!