Monday, December 7, 2015

Darby Naomi Birth Story

Well she's 8 months so it's high time I share her birth story. 

Darby Naomi Millar
April 7, 2015 10:23AM
6lbs 14 oz 19.5"

Lets start with the name, I really liked the name Darby even when we were pregnant with Ruthie. When I suggested the name Trevor called her Darby Millarby, and even still I loved the name.Where we were getting hung up was the middle name, nothing seemed right. It wasn't until a couple weeks before she was born that I thought and really considered the middle name Naomi. I thought about it before but would almost immediately dismiss it seeing as how we already have a Ruthie and it would just be going too far if we had a Ruth AND Naomi.

Bridget recently figured out that Ruthie and Grandma Ruthie have the same name. She seemed devastated, when I asked her about it she said "what about me?" That's when I got to explain to her that her middle name is the same as her Nana Jude. She too was named after her Grandmother. Immediately all was well and she said "she needed more pictures of her and Nana together, because we have the same name." It became very apparent to me that this new baby sister needed a name just as special. Hours I searched through mine and Trevor's family names. Nothing felt right.

Naomi was in our family lines a few times but it wasn't until one early morning when I woke before my babies and I lay in bed thinking. I had the distinct thought, "I have always loved the name Naomi."It was then that the whole weight of the meaning of the name, the bible story, what it all meant to me and what it would mean to my precious unborn daughter. The story of Ruth and Naomi is one of my very favorites. I realized that is exactly what I want for this sweet girl. She and Ruthie are only 15 months apart, I want them to have a deep bond, connection, and love for one another. I want my darling Darby Naomi to possess the same glorious qualities as Naomi of old; her faith, her dedication, her testimony, among so many other wonderful characteristics. "Then she kissed them; and they lifted up their voice, and wept...Ruth clave unto her. Entreat me not to leave thee...for whither thou goest , I will go." Ruth 1. I love the part where they lifted up their voices. I have come across a saying; "She is clothed with strength and dignity. She speaks wisdom and faithful instruction is on her tongue. Her children arise and call her blessed." That! That right there is exactly what I want for my daughters. In a world of chaos and fear to teach my girls and raise them in the way's of God is all I can ask for.

I am well aware that I have fast labors. So as I got closer to my due date I was trying very hard to make sure I was in tune with what was happening in my body to make sure all the right people were able to get there. A week before her birth Sherri, my midwife, checked me and I was dilated to a 4 and about 70% effaced. Things were definitely happening even without being in labor. It was Monday night April 6th, I noticed more of a consistency with my Braxton Hicks. They weren't painful at all, I just found I could time them a bit coming every 20-30 minutes. I let Sherri know. I decided to go to bed at 10:30ish, but I would still groggily make note of the time with every Braxton Hicks I had. At around 1:00AM I decided it was stupid to sort of wake up to see how far apart they were and decided to just stay asleep.

Around 7:00AM Sherri called and I told her I slept through the night and hadn't noticed a single braxton hick since 1AM. She said she would come and drop off the birth tub at my house around noon and check and see how I was doing. I then called my mom to give her an update. She was in California with my sisters but was supposed to be home late that night.

As Trevor was headed out the door around 8:00AM he gave me a kiss and very seriously put his hands on my shoulders looked into my eyes and said, "Do not hesitate to call me home if anything happens. I can see you wanting to wait and make sure it's real labor to call anyone, but don't you dare wait with me, you call me!" I promised I would.

Bridget and Ruthie woke up shortly after that and I got them and myself breakfast while they played. They got oatmeal but I made myself a special egg pancakes with chocolate chips, peanut butter, and lots of strawberries. It was 8:50AM when I felt my first contraction. I was half way through my breakfast, it was stronger than any I had up until then and it definitely wasn't comfortable although it didn't really hurt and I could still walk and talk through it. The next one came 8 minutes later. So at exactly 9:00AM I called Trevor, "I have had two contractions, you should probably come home." I felt so silly saying it. Two! Who calls their husband home after only two contractions and they weren't even strong. But I realized if things picked up quickly I didn't want to be in active labor alone with two toddlers. However, I did tell him we were out of eggs and milk so if he would please stop and get some at the store on his way home.

With every contraction I experienced each got a little more powerful and intense. I called Sherri after four contractions. "Ok! I'll be there in about an hour, or less." She said.

Trevor got home close to 9:20AM and started to get the house in order and get the girls dressed. We asked Bridget if she wanted to stay and watch the baby be born or if she wanted to go play at Vana's house? She chose to go play. So Trevor texted my neighbor, Diana, to see if she would come pick up the girls? I remember him reading me the text and I told him he needed to alter it and take out the words "beginning labor" because it gave the perception that it was going to be a while and I knew it wouldn't be long. She responded that she was at an appointment but that she could be at our house in a half an hour.

At this point I decided to get in the shower. I was in there about ten minutes and experienced three contractions so I knew things were picking up. Right after I got out of the shower Roxanne Mauer, another midwife Sherri works with walked in. "Sherri said you wanted my tub?" "Yes!" I responded. "Ok, before we do anything lets check you and see where you are." We went into my bedroom, this was about 10:05AM I went to my side of the bed when she asked if I would go to the other because she was right handed. She checked my cervix and smiled, "Ok we have some time, you are at a five." I was actually really relieved. She and Trevor left the room to start setting up the birth pool. I got up and took this picture of my belly. That's when everything started to shift.

(I took this picture at 10:06AM)

My contractions became really intense, I went back to the bed to try and get into a better position. I really started to moan loudly, Both Trevor and Roxanne started to bustle around trying to help support me with counter pressure but set up the pool and get towels and things at the same time. Bridget and Ruthie were still there in and around. Bridget was at the bottom of the bed and Ru was playing in Trevor's night stand right below where I was laboring. I remembered asking if she was ok where she was on the ground or if she was going to get slimmed? I could not get into a position that helped relieve what I was feeling, it was all so powerful, completely rocking my body and would not quit. I was laying on my side, but I did not like it there. Roxanne said not to worry that they could just lift up my leg. "No!" I exclaimed! "I get really bad charlie horses in my hip I don't want you to lift my leg." I knew that I just wanted to get on my hands and knees I just needed it to subside a little so I could move. At that time my friend Diana got there to take the girls. I heard her gathering the girls in the other room and I yelled from my bedroom "Thanks Diana!" She shut the door at 10:20AM It's funny to think about now, but because only 15 minutes before Roxanne checked me at a 5 I figured I had plenty of time left so I felt like I needed to get my head around this labor, thus the spurts of normalcy out of my mouth. Had I known Darby would be born only three minutes later I would have had Diana bring in the girls for the birth.

I was still on my side when I decided that maybe what I needed to do was to push through this pain. I didn't really have the urge to push until I decided to try it. Pushing actually did what I was trying to accomplish, which was to get a grasp on the intensity of my contractions so I could get into a better position. I got to my knees and it was then that I realized that I wasn't just pushing through the pain, I was pushing a baby out. As I felt the intense pressure of the crowning then the slight release as her head came out, the contraction continued so I pretty much catapulted her out of me. Trevor and Roxanne were there helping but I don't think either of them knew I was still pushing because I felt Darby drop onto the bed between my legs. Trevor told me later that Darby was born in the caul, there was a slight tear along one side though so Roxanne was removing the sack from around Darby's face when I pushed her all the way out. So they indeed weren't completely ready to catch her. 10:23AM she was born. Sherri, my midwife walked in at 10:26, "You missed it by three minutes!" I said as she rushed in the room. "April! Dang it! I knew I shouldn't have showered!"

Darby was perfect. She snuggled right into me and we stayed that way until the shakes settled in. I was cold so Darby and I got into the bath to warm up and relax. Once back on my bed I got stitched up and finished my half eaten breakfast from an hour and a half before. 

It was an absolutely perfect morning. Darby is a lover, she adds so much joy and happiness to our family. We can't imagine life without her.

About two weeks after Darby was born Bridget Asked what Charlie horses were? It took me a bit to realize that I had said that in labor while she was sitting at the edge of my bed. She really was aware with what was going on. Both Bridget and Ruthie love their new baby sister. They are so kind and gentle with her. Even Ruthie who not much older than her is so tender and even talks to her in a higher pitched voice. Girls, I tell you, natural born nurturers. 

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for sharing, April!! It's good to hear how you guys are doing. I hope you're settling into 3 kids now!