Deep Thoughts

By: Jack Handy April Millar 

*Does 90% lean beef mean the cow has only 10% body fat? 

So really we should take it as a compliment if ever called a cow.

*Really soft lips and a really scruffy beard just cancels each other out to make an OK kiss.

*Do general authorities of the LDS church, when writing a talk ever think "This is going to be made into a vinyl sign."?

*If one couldn't roll their "R's" in Ireland would that be the equivalent as having a lisp?

*Every time I write an email or text to someone who I know got their degree in English I am way more aware of my grammar and punctuation. I feel like they are analyzing  me the way a psychiatrist would analyze someone's words and body language. 

Stresses me out.

*One day when Trevor was telling me about his day at work he mentioned Sunday, a lady who works in accounting. When he was done I asked him, "What do you think of the name Sunday?"

"Meh, I don't really like it."

Pause

"Uh..... I mean..... I think month names are way better than week names."