Trev & Ape

How to: BOTTLE MEAT

2012-01-27T10:28:00.003-07:00

Ok people, canning meat is the best ever.

It is single handedly the most convenient thing in my life!

I am serious.

I use it probably 5 times a week because the other nights we are eating leftovers.

So without further ado, how to bottle chicken:

Make sure you have enough bottles, run them through the dishwasher to be sure they are sterile.

Watch the ads and when chicken goes on sale clean the store out.

Chicken is usually anywhere from $2.00+ / lb.

A good price on chicken is anything under $1.79 / lb.

I got this chicken for $1.49 / lb at Macey's.

Cut off additional fat at rinse

Put the chicken in the bottles, fill to about the first rim

Add 1/2 tsp of sea salt on top

Take a clean damp rag and clean off the rim so the lid will be sure to seal.

Put all your lids in warm to hot water before placing them on each bottle.

Now we are ready to can!

The key to the whole process:

The Pressure Canner.

Ask your grandma, your mom, aunts, see if anyone has a pressure canner you can use.

If not, you can order one online starting at about $200 depending on the size.

It is so worth it and it will pay for itself over and over again!

Fill it about a 1/4 way full with water.

Add your bottles.

Depending on the size of your canner you can process 8 - 18 bottles at once.

When you close your canner you need to do it at opposite ends. Like the front one first, then the back, then the left, then the right, etc.

Turn your burner on high.

The canner will need to get hot. Keep the pressure release in the open position. When it starts to get hot steam will come out of the pressure release that is called "exhausting." It need to exhaust for 10 min. Once 10 minutes is up close the pressure release.

When the release is closed the pressure gage will start to climb.

The gage needs to be about at about 14.

When the gage gets to 14 you will time it for 70 minutes. Also you will want to turn down the burner gradually so the gage stays at 14 for the entire 70 minutes. (it will eventually be at about medium heat)

After the 70 minutes turn off your burner completely and let the pressure gage get back to zero (it will take some time, maybe around 15 minutes). Once the gage is back to zero you can flip the pressure release open to remove and pressure / steam and you can open your canner.

Be sure you open your canner the way you closed it with opposite sides.

Voila!

You have bottled chicken ready to be thrown into any dish.

I use it in soups, casseroles, crockpot dishes, salads, literally anything that calls for chicken.

It's already cooked so it makes things SO FAST!

It is delicious and so moist.

It's not just chicken either you can bottle pork, roast, ground beef, etc.

(The ground beef is a little more difficult because you have to brown it before bottling. But it saves you from having to brown it later when you are cooking a meal.)

Deep Thoughts - On Breastfeeding - Part Deux

2012-01-25T08:12:00.000-07:00

By: ~~Jack Handy~~ April Millar

*Breastfeeding is excellent for posture. You no longer have the desire to slouch because when you do your nipples touch your belly button.

*After watching Bridget play with my empty water bottle I thought "Water bottles are shaped like breasts." So in essence, none of us have given up the boob.

*Don't buy your nursing bra two days after you give birth when your boobs are engorged. After a couple weeks you could put both boobs and a fist in one of the cups to try and fill it out. And after a couple of months you will never wear it again because it's so large your baby could sit in it.

*The breast pump will become your best friend, maybe even before your husband.

*If your baby starts to prefer the bottle over you, so you make her eat only from you, but then you decide one day to give her a bottle again, don't be surprised when she gags.

*Breastfeeding definitely gets better: I trained Bridget to tickle my neck whenever she is eating.

What is a stronger word for "sore?"

2012-01-24T07:41:00.000-07:00

Thanks Bridget for giving a visual to how I feel:

I have started to work out again.

I guess being pregnant and having a baby are some pretty good reasons for talking myself out of going to the gym.

However, now that my baby is 4 months old and I am still 30 lbs overweight I didn't have any more reasons not to go.

Now my body is saying "yeah, you think you can take an entire year off? I'll show you!"

And I respond with a whimpering "owie."

4 whole months!

2012-01-23T08:17:00.000-07:00

4 months old TODAY!

She is seriously that old.

This time last year I had just found out I was pregnant and now I have a 4 month old.

Who LOVES to smile.

(and wave non intentionally)

*She loves books.

I can read to her and she lays quietly in her bed and stares at the pictures.

*Her favorite book right now is the Velveteen Rabbit, and she loves to snuggle her stuffed bunny.

*She loves to spend time with her daddy doing whatever he likes to do.

So that means a lot of cars and spending time at the auto parts store.

*Her cheeks have gotten so big I can't keep my lips off them.

Other 4 month milestones:

*Bridget talks in her sleep (I am serious).

*She loves to sing!

*She loves to hold things, especially her Binky.

*She has two teeth; cut the first on Jan. 15th and the 2nd on Jan. 18th

*She weighs a whopping 15 lbs. but is still pretty short measuring in at 22" which means she still fits in a lot of her 3 month clothes.

Somehow she has started to get really fun.

I don't just snuggle and stare at her all day. (just most of the day)

She can now interact with us and gets excited to sing songs and play games, she laughs and screams.

It is just so amazing that she is a little person.

Best Friends

2012-01-20T08:12:00.000-07:00

Over New Years we went to Idaho to spend some time with Trevor's family.

Bridgey has two arranged best friends that she was so excited to meet for the first time.

First, her cousin Hailey.

Born three weeks exactly after Bridget they even share the same middle name.

p.s. Bridge had this outfit on and someone said she looked like a clown.I totally don't see it with the ruffled collar, polka dots and stripes,and a flower that will spray you with a stream of water...

Comparing to see who is the more "healthy" baby.

I think it came to a tie.

Here are all the Millar grand-kids born in 2011.

Carli wasn't havin it. She is way to big to hang out with babies.

Trevor's best buddy ever is his cousin, Tyler.

We were so excited when we heard Tyler and Callie were pregnant too, and even more excited when we found out we were both having girls!

Here the little ladies are meeting for the first time.

I think Bridget is wishing she had Holland's hair and I am sure Holland is coveting Bridge's thighs.

Bridget and Holland, 6 weeks apart and best friends.

Announcement

2012-01-19T10:35:00.001-07:00

Bridget has something she would like to say:

(interpreted by mom)

Hi Guys!

Yes, I have some big news.

I have been working so hard, it's been a very productive week.

I HAVE TWO TEETH!!!

Can you see 'em?

It took mom a really long time to figure it out, AND I was giving her all sorts of hints.

Like drooling a lot

and chewing on my entire fist.

I even started rubbing my tongue over my tooth (it feels so cool)

and mom just thought I "discovered my tongue."

It actually took my Grammy to figure it out.

Sheesh!

By that point my 2nd tooth was almost through.

It's tough business, cutting teeth, but luckily I can handle it, even with a smile on my face.

Lunch

2012-01-17T11:27:00.003-07:00

Survival of the fittest, right?

Which means part of being prepared is being fit.

Dang.

So I have had to find ways to work on getting fit.

Unfortunately sugar is a major weakness, in fact I think my emotional attachment to sugar is a genetic disorder.

But my sister gave me this fantastic recipe which is filling and very healthy.

Doesn't this look Delicious??

It is.

Quinoa Salad (recipe courtesy of Sarah Lindsey)

1 Tbl oil
2 cup Sweet Onion, chopped
1 cup red bell pepper, chopped
1 cup quinoa rinsed, drain
2 tsp. chili powder
1/2 tsp. ground cumin
1/2 tsp. salt
1 1/2 cups water
15 oz. can black beans, drained and rinsed
1/2 cup cilantro, chopped, divided
feta

Heat oil, medium heat
Add onion, pepper, salt, for 5 minutes
stir in next 4 ingredients
Add water; boil. Cover; reduce heat to medium. Simmer for 14 minutes
Add beans and 1/4 cups cilantro
cook uncovered for 3 minutes (liquid absorbed)
Transfer to bowl; sprinkle cilantro and feta

notes:
-I don't like cilantro so I completely omit it.
-Chop up some lettuce and spoon some of the quinoa mixture along with sliced grapes and top with your favorite dressing.
-I also like to add toasted almond slices.
-The remaining quinoa mixture I put in a tupperware in my fridge and add it to a salad for lunch everyday.

Empty Nest?

2012-01-13T13:19:00.000-07:00

So my parents are empty nesters.

All of their little birdies have spread their wings and flown away.

Let me ask you, what would you do if all your kids were grown up and on their own?

Traveling would be on the top of my list.

What did they do?

They filled their nest right back up.

With Chickens and Bees.

Lets just say if the country collapses I know where to get eggs and honey.

Does it count towards my preparedness if they are prepared?

I said I would never do this

2012-01-10T09:21:00.000-07:00

Raise your hand if you think Bridgey is a pretty dang cute baby.
Yeah me too.

Although I said I would never solicit people to help me win a contest, that was before I had a baby and now here I am, on my knees....

My awesome cousin-in-law Callie is a photographer and is having a cutest baby contest.
If you feel so inclined to vote for Bridget I would love it!

All you have to do:
1. Follow this link to her facebook page: CallieMaePhotography
2. Then you must "like" her page
3. Then go to the cutest baby ever photo album and photo number 2 is Bridget, just "like" her picture and if she gets the most likes by January 15th we win a family photo session!!! (don't you want to see more pictures of Bridget?)

This is the picture:

Thank you!!
Also if we win Bridget will give you the biggest slobbery-est kiss you could ever ask for!
Now that is a real incentive.

In other recent news Bridget discovered her singing voice last Thursday and has been singing none stop.

It is the sweetest thing I have ever heard.

Theme for 2012

2012-01-06T13:36:00.000-07:00

I have noticed many people out there are publicly posting their resolutions, maybe to be held accountable?

I get that.

Although I have tried new years resolutions in previous years I have found that I have the personality that I need to remember that everyday is a clean slate rather than every year or else my goals would be botched January 2nd.

So this year I decided I would have a theme instead of resolutions.

My theme for 2012 is:

Be Prepared.

No, I don't feel the Mayans were ominously prophesying the end of the world in 2012 with the end of their calendar.

However, I do feel I am not exempt from natural disasters or unplanned circumstances.

Also, I just know that I am a much happier and relaxed person when I know I am prepared.

So what does being prepared entail?

Good question.

The more I do research / think about it, the more I feel overwhelmed.

So, I will be taking this year to little by little get prepared and if you are interested I will be posting about it.

I have a long way to go.

Luckily my parents gave us a jump start with a 72 hour kit for Christmas. It is amazing.

You know how when you get so excited about a vacuum or a kitchen appliance you know you are officially an adult?

Somehow having a baby has a similar effect, except for now I know I will go to any lengths to protect my baby. So when we opened the 72 hour kit I felt pure relief, elation, excitement... all the good emotions.

I hope you join me on my journey for preparedness.

Because this little lady is counting on me.

Legit Baby Shower

2012-01-04T08:47:00.000-07:00

About two hours after Bridget was born when my midwife came in to say goodbye, Bridge was still naked in my arms.

I asked my midwife if we would be bathing her before we left the birth center?

She responded by telling me it is very beneficial for the vernix (the white gooey stuff) to absorb into her skin, and that she personally didn't bathe her babies until they were about a week old.

Ok then, being one who washes their hair one maybe two times a week (tmi?) I am totally down with that.

We first bathed Bridge when she was 6 days old and saying that she hated it is an understatement.

I honestly think it was the first time she cried since being born.

I figured it would get better, a couple more times I tried with the same reaction.

She just wasn't a fan of the bath.

So I decided we would try a shower.

oooohhhh how she loved the shower!

I would have her up against my chest and she, on her own, would lift her head back until it was in the water and would lazily close her eyes and relax.

Please don't judge your men too harshly, I know they can't be as manly and have as much chest hair as mine. Sorry to flaunt it so obviously.

One thing is to be said for this little girl, she knows what she wants and she will make sure we figure it out real quick.

We just love her.

Melts my heart every time.

You Are Invited

2012-01-02T11:11:00.000-07:00

We have a joke in the Steed family.

It started a few years ago, my siblings and I put some apple juice in my mom's nice crystal goblets (who hasn't right?)

Of course we were sipping on our beverages with our pinky's in the air toasting each other, laughing and having a good time.

My sweet mother came into the room to survey our activity and with a disapproving look she said "You guys, that is fake smoking and we don't do that."

What??

In utter confusion we asked:

"Fake smoking, mom?"

"Yes. That's not good, we don't do that."

At this point she still hadn't pick up on her mistake and we all thought it was pretty funny so what did we do?

We made fun of her through sarcasm.

Raising our fingers to our mouths, in our best impression of someone with emphysema we start "fake smoking" and toasting to things like "good health." Or "Here's to two lungs."

Through a bashful grin she realized her slip up and we all had a good laugh.

Since then any time a wine glass is used it's known as fake smoking.

So this past week with the majority of my family home for Christmas and some bottled grape juice from my mom's home grown concord grapes, we knew we needed to have a formal dinner party with some inevitable "fake smoking" to really class it up.

Please enjoy the spontaneous photo shoot that ensued:

Trevor & April

Geoff & Aleena

Bryce & Sarah

Craig & Ruthie

Douglas Steed

You better believe that 3 months after having a baby I can fit in my wedding dress!!!

Well maybe not completely....

We loved the guys outfits, they seemed to all reflect their personalities.

Before even seeing Geoff I heard Aleena say "You look like a gay bartender"

...can't argue with that.

We did eventually get around to having dinner.

The casserole was delish.

**There is no intention to offend anyone that is gay, drinks, or smokes: real or fake.

Movie Buff

2011-12-30T08:20:00.000-07:00

Bridget went to her first movie the other night.

We picked the late show thinking she would sleep through it.

She did eventually fall asleep but not before she enjoyed about 2/3rds of the action packed flick.

Judging by the fact that it captured the attention of infants and adults alike, we give Sherlock Homes two thumbs up.

Bridget's First Christmas

2011-12-29T07:30:00.000-07:00

Images from the most wonderful time of the year:

3 months cute!

2011-12-28T10:29:00.000-07:00

Who taught you that?

2011-12-22T10:54:00.000-07:00

As I have mentioned before Bridget has perfect lips, she got them from her daddy.

And boy does she know how to use them.

More specifically she knows how to use her bottom lip.

Please enjoy the series of pictures below:

She is a pro at pushing out that lip and does it at least once everyday.

I want to know where she learned it, because I am in trouble if it just came naturally at 3 months old!

My Best Friend's Wedding

2011-12-19T10:55:00.000-07:00

Elizabeth Goold got married this weekend.

She was the most beautiful bride.

In this picture I am sure I had said something very sentimental and we were sharing a moment... or we had both grabbed each others butts.

I can't remember.

There are seven of us from college that are best friends.

Unfortunately we didn't have Meagan Harding with us.

It was a really dumb excuse like being due to have her baby that day and not allowed to travel, lame. Just kidding Meags, but we still really missed you, it wasn't the same without you.

Haley, Nycole, Jennie, Brianna, April

(Liz & Meagan not pictured)

Oh, wait, here we all are.

Like I said before, Liz is my best friend.

She is the kind of friend that I can call and she will give me a better perspective on a tough situation, even if it's not what I want to hear.

I truly believe long distance relationships can work out because when Liz moved to Texas almost 4 years ago, we would talk several times a week, if not everyday.
I knew more about a bunch of people in Dallas whom I had never met then I did about my own neighbors.

Liz is the kind of friend that will not hesitate to done the spandex, even if it's not necessary.

Whenever I have a security question that asks who my best friend is I am never sure if I originally wrote Liz or Trevor.

Some of my absolutely favorite memories are because of Liz. read them here or here or even here.

I love you Lizzy, congratulations.

Continuing the Tradition

2011-12-15T10:06:00.000-07:00

When Trevor and I got married we started a tradition of making our Christmas stockings, you can see how ours turned out here.

With the addition of Bridget to our family is was time to pull out the fabric and get sewing.

I am so grateful I had my little busy bee, she was soooo helpful and wanted to be apart of the whole process.

It was actually really fun to have her in the thick of it, I love how fascinating she finds everything.

It turned out stinkin cute!

I am so proud of it.

Bridgey loves it too, she can't wait for Santa to fill it with goodies.

I Won!

2011-12-13T11:00:00.000-07:00

My friend Ashley has this great blog Between West and Main.

She had a giveaway that I entered and I WON!

I am so excited about it.

Guess what it is?

It's Mindy Gledhill's new Christmas album!!

I got it in the mail a few days ago and we have listened to it non-stop.

It has really put us in the Christmas spirit.

And when it stops, we just want it to keep going, forever.

We highly recommend Mindy Gledhill's Winter Moon CD. It will forever be in our Christmas music collection.

p.s. winning something on a blog is like winning something on the radio so this totally counts towards my list!

I love it when I get to cross things off a list.

2 MONTHS - 2 weeks ago

2011-12-10T22:34:00.000-07:00

I know it's common practice to put up the kids stats, but since I don't have a pediatrician yet and she has never been to the Doctor

(go ahead and tell me I am horrible)

here are her statistics according to moi.

Cheeks: 10 lbs. each

Ears: a little pokey-out-y

Lips: perfect in every particular

Eyes: tear up when she poops

Hair: rockin the cul-de-sac / mullet

Head: of the house

Bows: forget to put them on so she gets called a boy a lot, will probably need therapy

On the go: constantly

In love: with her daddy

Patience: 5th percentile

Cuteness: 109th percentile

We are smitten

Bless You My Child

2011-12-07T15:36:00.000-07:00

After going through my pictures from Bridget's baby blessing I have come to the conclusion that I didn't get enough pictures. Bummer.

I guess I'll just have to dress her back up in her dress and take some more.

Grandma Jude made Bridget's gorgeous dress.

A few great dads.

Crazy Up in Here

2011-11-29T09:45:00.000-07:00

Last week, continuing on into this week has been a bit on the nuts side.

We had an awesome Thanksgiving with Trevor's family, we sure do love them.

But we decided to move. In about 2 days, we decided to move.
To Orem.

I have more thoughts on that about how this is the very first time in my life I will have even spent the night in Utah County let alone move there.
Who cares, right? I mean I live right on the border of Salt Lake and Utah counties anyway, aren't they the same?
Oh No. no, no. They most definitely are very different.

I would venture to say that ....100%.....yeah, that sounds like a good number....100% of people would agree with me that Salt Lake and Utah counties are as different as skim milk and heavy cream.
I don't know where the milk metaphor came from, I don't even like milk. But I do like cheese, mostly when it's melty. Mmmmmm, cheese on anything makes everything better. pinterest.

We also had Bridget's Baby Blessing on Sunday. It was wonderful! We are so grateful for everyone who came to share the special day with us. Trevor did beautifully. Pictures to come. I am not entirely sure where my camera cord is.... I don't think I know where my camera is.

So I would like to make a toast, "Here's to not having to commute on I-15 and getting home from work in 5 minutes instead of 45!"

Yes, I will take it. I look forward to seeing my husband at least an extra hour everyday.

Get ready for some before and afters of our new place... if I can find my camera.

Side note: If you have noticed my blog title, I can't write in slang. period. I can't even shorten words in texts. It's not that I don't know how to, I had the slang version written in the blog title but I changed it back and forth three times before I realized I just can't do it.

It's a good thing we are moving to Utah County and not West Valley City. My punctuation would give us away in about point two seconds. u down wit at?

And because I can't leave you completely picture-less for four blog posts:

Melts my heart

She's getting good at it.

Fired - extended version - part 3

2011-11-21T09:01:00.000-07:00

So that all happened on a Monday.

I didn’t hear from them until Saturday.

Nancylynn called me and asked if I could come in.

I get there and go back to the office, we sit down and shesays,

“Well they came back with a decision and it wasn’t in ourfavor so we are going to have to let you go.”

I was floored.

I, for the life of me, could not see how they could everfire me over this or else I would have quit.

“Well can I quit so I don’t have a fire on my record?”

“No, you are already out of the system.”

“You just screwed me over then, it’s going to be so muchharder to find a job.”

“No, by law we don’t have to disclose why you were fired. Andeven then it doesn’t say you were fired for theft just inability to followpolicies.”

“Nancylynn, I know for a fact that the hiring process atRoss has a question that asks if you have ever been fired and if you check yesthat application gets disposed of and it never even gets to human eyes.”

“Oh, I see what you mean.”

“Nancylynn, do you feel like the punishment fit the crime?”

“Well they are trying to be consistent with anything thatneeds disciplinary action, that’s why they had to fire both you and Scott.”

“Consistent? What about some of your employees that everydayare at least a half hour late? Or those that stash merchandise and wait for itto go on clearance before they buy it? Or the people that have come into workdrunk?

So do YOU think the punishment fit the crime?”

“I have fired two people for coming into work drunk.”

“But not all, so where is the consistency?”

At this point I am so done and just ready to get out ofthere. It was a nice day and now I was looking forward to spending it in the sun.

“What do you need me to sign?”

As I was walking out I turned to her and asked, "Was Inot an good employee for you?"

(at this point she starts to get hysterical)

"No, no you were perfect! You were the best! You werethe one I had in line for management! I never wanted to loose you!"

"Well......good luck to you." And I walked out.

A month after all of this I got a fantastic job at a design center where I was getting paid more and I had a way better work schedule. Three months after that I got my job at xango, which I did love. Now I get to be Bridget's mama which is by far the best job I have ever had.

Nancylynn and Brian both still work at Ross Dress for Less.

Bless their hearts.

Fired - Extended Version - Part 2

2011-11-18T09:00:00.000-07:00

An entire TWO WEEKS goes by. I have all but forgotten aboutthe whole situation when I am called back to the back office.

I head back thinking it probably had something to do withthe two girls I had been training.

I walk in and Nancylynn closes the door behind me and tellsme to have a seat. There sitting in front of me was the corporate lossprevention guy, Matt.

Matt turns to me and with his head in his hands heaving bigsighs, and in a tone of deep disappointment (like I had just committed murder)says,

“Tell me about this candy incident.”

“Uh……………….”

What?? I am lookingaround thinking, Am I being punked? Where is Ashton?

(all the while my manager, Nancylynn won’t look at me.)

“Well, it was a while ago, let me remember.”

“We know you are guilty, we have the surveillance tape. Ijust want to know what you were talking about as you sneak around eating thecandy.”

Sneak around?

Now I realize sometimes I can do dumb things but somehow Imanaged to graduate college. And even though I didn’t learn to look for camerasat college, I guess my street cred gave me that experience.

And somehow after working there for 6 months I may havenoticed the very obvious cameras that were directed at each register. But I amsure he was right, I was probably sneaking around in the direct line of visionfor the cameras to pick it up.

“Well, we were discussing how one of the flavors tasted likechocolate covered cinnamon bears and how much we loved those. So, yeah, mostlywe were talking about chocolate covered cinnamon bears.”

“I see. You seem like a good person.”

“Yeah I am a good person.”

“This is a first time offense?”

“Yes sir, I have never even been late to work.”

“You realize that you took something that wasn’t yours, thisis just like if you were to take a pair of jeans and run out of the store.”

“Uh…alright.”

“This is the same as if I were to go into your purse andtake a piece of gum.”

"Ok." You could have a piece of gum, especially if I was goingto throw the gum away.

“This would be the same if I were to go into your purse andtake a thousand dollars.”

“You are right, I am sorry. It was really dumb and I willnever do it again.”

“So I will tell you what’s going to happen now. We do thisin a very unbiased way, I do the investigation and then I talk with two othercorporate people and we make a decision. I will go make a few calls. I willalso need you to sign this document saying you will pay for the item you ate,lets see the price divided by two means you owe $2.66.”

“Can’t I just give you the $2.66? Do I have to sign thisdocument?”

“Well the document says that we hand this part over to an attorney and any additional attorney fees you will have to pay for aswell.”

WHAT??

Of course this is already after I signed it.

Matt goes to make his phone calls and leaves me there withmy spineless manager Nancylynn who still won't look me in the eyes. At thispoint I am crying because I am humiliated and I cannot believe that this measlylittle thing has been escalated into a felony.

Nancylynn, while looking at the floor says,

“It’s like that general conference talk, I don’t rememberwho gave it: come what may and love it.”

Excuse me?? That, is what you are going to say to me?

Matt comes back and says, “Well I couldn’t get a hold of theother people so we are going to have to put you on assisted leave, which means you have to leave the premises immediately and cannot work until we determine if you will be terminated or not.”

“ok, this actually works out great because I am substitute teaching and I really need to research the lessons.”

Matt looks at Nancylynn like that wasn't the reaction he wanted from me after he delivered such a heavy blow.

I am thinking, SWEET, I don't have to close for the next few nights like I was scheduled to do.

“And if you talk about this with any one else involved youwill be terminated immediately.”

**This whole situation happened about 2 1/2 years ago when I worked for Ross. Not my current predicament with being laid off while on maternity leave from xango.

Fired - extended version - part 1

2011-11-17T11:06:00.000-07:00

Just after Trevor and I were married we moved back to Utah (we had been living in Philadelphia for 2 months) and in with my parents.

We were desperate to find jobs; I was hired at Ross Dress for Less as their Front End Supervisor…. a cashier.

If you shop at Ross (which I still do, no hard feelings) you may have noticed their “Loss Prevention” people. They look like security guards, although here is a secret from me to you; they can’t do anything. Basically they are glorified Walmart greeters.

They do have a few additional duties other than saying hello and goodbye to people. Every couple of hours they walk around the store looking for stashed merchandise, broken items, cut hard tags, etc.

One day one of the loss prevention guys, Brian, (actual name, there are no innocent people in this story to protect) found a container full of these chocolate covered candy sticks that had been torn open and some of them were missing.

Via

At Ross they have a bucket called MOS, I can’t for the life of me remember what that stands for but that is the bucket we put all the stuff that is damaged or when people returned things that is broken and couldn't be resold. Everything that is going to be thrown away we put in this bucket so the manager can make a note that the item was damaged and not stolen, then into the trash compactor it goes, no matter what condition it’s in.

So Brian put this container with these candies in the MOS bucket and ended his shift.

Later in the evening, I was still there. Scott was the Loss Prevention guy working that night, I like Scott, we are buddies. Things were slow so I was back behind the counter scanning in the returns while we chatted.

There were a few of the candies up on the return counter so I was looking at them. They had names like: chocolate kahlua, cinnamon schnapps, and mint julep.

I said, “there is no way these have actual liquor in them.”

I pulled the container out of the MOS bucket to double check the ingredients.

Nope, no actual liquor.

So I had to try them, at least one of every flavor.

Scott was standing there so I offered some to him; it was dinnertime after all.

The next day I was working as was Brian. The Manager on duty, Niki, came up and started to pull everything out of MOS to take back to the trash compactor. Brian saw the container of candy and said,

“Hey that had more candy in it when I found it.”

So I said, “Yeah, I tried them, they are actually really good!”

“Well if you had some that means Scott had some too.”

“Yeah, sure, we all had some.”

“That is against Scott’s job description.”

Now I don’t know if Brian had a personal vendetta against Scott, or if he was just extremely honest.

I see him start to bee-line it to the back room, where our store manager, Nancylynn was.

Oh seriously, I thought. So I head back there as well.

I walk into her office as he is standing over her shoulder and they have the surveillance tape up from the night before.

They hear me come in and quickly shut down the tape like I caught them doing something they weren’t supposed to.

“Oh” I say, “Are you guys talking about last night? I can just tell you what happened. I ate some of the damaged candy that was in the MOS bin that Brian found yesterday. I realize now that it was probably wrong of me to just go ahead and eat it but I justified it because it was going to be thrown away anyway. Can I buy it now?”

Nancylynn responds “No, you can’t buy it. It’s not you I’m worried about, it’s Scott.”

“Why? I was the one who had the idea and gave some to Scott, it’s not his fault or responsibility, it is mine. I can write up a statement if you want.”

“Well we will have to see, I need to decide if I am going to report this to corporate or not.”

“Uh……..ok.”

**This wholesituation happened about 2 1/2 years ago when I worked for Ross. Not mycurrent predicament with being laid off while on maternity leave from xango.

Fired - short version

2011-11-16T12:09:00.001-07:00

I was fired for eating candy out of the garbage.

True story.

H-A-double L-O-W-double E-N

2011-11-15T09:45:00.000-07:00

I know I told you to stay tuned for the story of when I was fired, staytune a little longer. I am in the process of writing it down so now isthe perfect time to post pictures from Halloween, right?

I wouldn't want to deprive the world of seeing the cutest little calf there ever was.

The one time Trevor went to the door without Bridge in his arms some kid asked "Is that a costume or how you always dress?"

He wasn't quite sure how to respond, he wishes he dressed like this everyday.

I maybe wish he did too.

No Such Thing as Job Security

2011-11-11T09:27:00.000-07:00

I know with these tough economic times more and more of us are realizing that job security is an illusion.

But I am in a perfect situation, maternity leave.

What I know about the Family Medical Leave of Absence Act is that I can take up to 12 weeks off work (unpaid) for the birth of my child and my position would be guaranteed for me when I got back.

So my job is protected for me by the law.
You can't get more secure than that.
Right?
Wrong.

A little over a week ago I was laid off from my job at xango.

I wasn't the only one laid off many people were, and each person obviously needed their job.

But I was the only one laid off while on maternity leave, and as you can imagine me being laid off spread through the office like wild fire.

There is no such thing as job security.

When I got the phone call I was nursing my sweet baby girl. I entered the conversation thinking it was the girl who was temporarily taking over my job responsibilities, she usually called or emailed me several times a week with questions.

It was not her on the other line.

It was so unexpected that I was incredibly chipper and understanding the whole time. When I hung up it started to sink in.

I don't have a job anymore.

I had 2 weeks left of my maternity leave and then I was going to go back part-time for a little while before starting back up full-time.

Every Monday I would get a pang of deep sorrow when I looked at my sweet Bridget and thought, I have to leave you (But she is so little!!!) in four weeks.... (She can't survive without me!) in three weeks.... (I can't survive without her!) in two weeks.....

It didn't matter that it would only be for two hours everyday and she would be with her Grammy, It was the hardest thing I think I would ever have to do.

So when I hung up the phone and started to cry, I had to make myself evaluate these tears. What kind were they?

Sure enough, they were tears of joy.

Luckily we started to really tighten our budget and make sure everything would be taken care of with Trevor's income while I was on maternity leave. So for now I am a stay at home mom! OFFICIALLY!

BUT it didn't matter that the situation is perfect for me in the end, it always hurts to be rejected.

Doesn't matter if it's personal or business, it always feels personal.

However, being laid off is way easier than being FIRED.
Which reminds me of another story.
The story of when I was fired from Ross Dress for Less.

It's a good one.
So stay tuned.

But for now, I'll get back to my job....

I will continue to look for another job, probably something part-time that I can do from home.

I may have a serious problem

2011-11-10T10:10:00.000-07:00

But it's debatable.

You see little Bridget may think she is big enough to know what she wants!

and have a personality!

and preferences!

What?? Girl, you are 6 weeks old!

Well, she definitely prefers sleeping in mommy and daddy's bed...

Yes, that is a vintage power rangers pillowcase.

(Can something be vintage from the 90's?)

And she definitely prefers not being put down... ever. And if you dare to try, her personality comes out with great enthusiasm.

So this is how we get anything done during the day.
Cooking dinner? Cleaning the bathroom? Laundry? She's done it all.

I think the real problem is she has her mommy's number and it's 1-800-WHIPPED!

Deep Thoughts: on breastfeeding

2011-11-07T08:46:00.001-07:00

By: ~~Jack Handy~~ April Millar

*Each time the milk "comes in" it feels like a brain-freeze... in your breasts.

*When breastfeeding, life is so much better without a shirt on. Cultures whose women don't wear tops is not because they are third world, it's because they are smart.

*People should not be offended when seeing a woman breastfeed in public, they should be impressed. To discreetly breastfeed is quite a talent. and if discreetly means a grown woman with a blanket over her head and partial breast exposure, then count me in. There will be no hiding this talent under a bushel.

*Believe people when they say the pain from latching on and the blood from the cracked nipples goes away. Just don't count on the time line they give you. Your boobs now have a mind of their own (thus the reason they can get brain freezes) so they will heal when they feel like it.

*If it seems that your milk is having an effect more like butter than milk and is apparent by the rate at which your babies cheeks are growing, be proud.

*If one of your breasts seems to not have an "off" valve and will leak without restraint, try putting a bottle under it to catch the drops. You may end up with 2 1/2 ounces of saved breast milk with each feeding and can completely gross people out when you tell people you are feeding her with your drippings.

No longer a newborn??

2011-10-20T14:02:00.001-06:00

So finally after some major diaper blowouts I finally gave in and admitted my baby no longer fits in newborn diapers. Although it may have taken me until she was covered up to her neck in mustard curdy poop to switch her to the bigger size.

My bad.

(this picture wasn't even a blowout, it was just Trevor's first time changing her poopy diaper, a moment that needed to be documented)

So does this mean she is not a newborn anymore?? When is it official? When she doesn't fit in newborn clothes? I feel like I need to define this because if not I will be blindsided and all of the sudden she will be going to college. It happens that fast I hear.

On a side note, I think I will have a little caterpillar for Halloween.

And because I am posting random pictures today with one hand while I hold my sleeping baby in the other. This next picture was taken when Bridget was THREE DAYS OLD, and yes she is full on SMILING! and yes, it is a horrible picture taken in haste with my phone.

Family Pictures

2011-10-14T15:22:00.000-06:00

Hopefully you aren't sick of pictures of my sweet baby because chances are this blog is going to get Bridget-ed out!

And as if the new-born shoot wasn't enough my amazing sister Sarah took our family pictures as well.

Photoshoot

2011-10-11T11:05:00.000-06:00

I have some amazing talent in my family. All of my sisters are super-moms AND can do anything, I am serious, anything.

My sister Sarah is an incredible artist, she has pure natural talent. Of which I am most covetous of. I want to be an artist so badly! I would take art classes and work my very hardest and get "C's" ...my work looked like a 3rd grader did it.

But Sarah can do it all; watercolor, oil, sculpture, photography. So although I don't have the talent, the rest of us are so lucky she does so we can enjoy these pictures of my sweet baby.

Sarah took these pictures when Bridget was 5 days old.

I am hoping we have a dancer on our hands, just days old and already pointing her toes like a pro.

I want to publicly thank Trevor for having amazing lips and passing them to our child.

Aren't they perfect?

Have you died from cuteness yet?

I love this one, I think she looks like the Queen of Sheba. Taking baby modeling to a whole new level, thata girl Bridge.

I love this one. This little girl is perfect and the mostadorable thing I have ever seen, and she needs me. I am her momma.

This is Trevor's favorite, I love it too. From day one, Bridget has been so engaging and focused. She will lock her eyes on you and look into your soul.

It still amazes me that even though she was only 5 days old she was awake and hanging out for the majority of the shoot.

She literally is my angel.

Thank you Sarah! You are truly amazing.

I may or may not get a little teary every time I look at these pictures.

Bridget's Birth Story

2011-10-05T13:46:00.002-06:00

Okay, ok I may have exaggerated, the birth story may not be really exciting. But I can promise you it's as exciting as a normal natural childbirth can get.

I can completely understand why some people don’t wish to share the birth stories of their children. It is intensely personal and intimate. But as I was deciding if I was going to share or not I remembered howgrateful I was to read other people’s birth stories and how some of them ultimately helped me to get to the decision of how I wanted the birth of my baby to go.

So if my story could be of any value to someone else in deciding on a natural, non-medicated delivery I would be happy to have it out there for the world to read. I also made a pretty big deal about the hypnobirthing method and so I need to share how its practice aided me in my labor and delivery.

WARNING: I am not holding anything back. If blood, lady parts, and descriptive words (and pictures) make you squeamish don’t proceed.

Friday morning September 23^rd came like every other morning. Literally every other morning, Trevor teaches seminary every other day and therefore gets up at4:30am on those days. Some days I wake up with him, some days I let him kiss me as I sleep through. This particular morning I got up feeling completely normal ready to get some loose ends tied up at work so I could have my baby sometime the next week. Exactly 10 minutes after Trevor kissed me goodbye I had my first “contraction” (I will call them “surges” from here on out.) It mostly felt like period cramps but it was different than the pre-labor and braxton hicks I had been experiencing for weeks before. I took note of the time and continued on with my morning.

Each surge was coming about 10 minutes apart with what I would describe as a mini-surge in-between each surge, just minor pressure. Because of its consistency I decided to call my mom to make sure what was happening was real labor. She confirmed that it sounded real to her and that she would be over in about an hour.

At 8:00 I decided to call Trevor to tell him I was in early labor but to not worry. (What I didn’t know is that I called him right as his second class was starting and he happened to be getting evaluated by one of the main directors. Whoops. I don’t know how well he did teaching that class… he may have been slightly distracted.)

By 9:00 I called my midwife to give her the heads up. She told me to call her again when my surges were 4 minutes apart and I couldn’t walk or talk through them. I was calling her by 10:30.

We got to the birth center at 11:30. By this point each surge was about 3 – 3.5 minutes apart lasting well over a minute each. With the hypnobirthing method, I practiced going into a deep state of relaxation. It was particularly important for me to breath slowly to make sure my uterus and the baby were getting enough oxygen through each surge. But that also aided in letting all tension out of the muscles in and around my abdomen and pelvis. As I concentrated on my relaxation I am sure I appeared asleep, or at the very least, comfortable. But being completely honest I was not comfortable. Each surge was not pleasant by any means but at the same time there was nothing horrible about them either. It felt like I had bikini bottoms on that would swiftly grip my insides with an incredible force, tighter and tighter.

After we got to the birth center my midwife, Trinette, checked to see how things were going. I had obviously been in real labor and it was becoming more intense with each surge so I wasn’t concerned about my progress.

The verdict was in:

I was 90% effaced (paper thin) and dilated to a…2.

Excuse me? A TWO?! I have been dilated to a 2 for two week salready!

As it turns out the baby had dropped so low and so fast that my cervix was back behind her head and not lined up with the birth canal,therefore unable to dilate adequately.

Trinette suggested I get on my hands and knees during my surges to try and get the baby to slide back so my cervix could move into place, and then perhaps they would send me home to get a little further. I got on my hands and knees and knew that what was going on in my body was too powerful to send me the 30 minutes back home.

A picture of the room we were in.

After about 45 minutes on my hands and knees, my mom relieving pressure on my lower back and Trevor making it so I could be completely limp while talking me though each surge, my cervix was about three quarters to where it needed to be.

At that point I decided to try laboring in the tub. It was nice; the water relieved some of the pressure. After about an hour I got back out of the tub because although I was now dilated to a 5 my cervix had slipped back a little.

So back on my hands and knees I went.

It was around 2:00 and things started to accelerate rapidly. As soon as I got out of the tub my surges were coming about every minute and really the only way I can describe them is intense! I was very aware of my thought processes, I remember thinking “I can see why people would get epidurals.” But I never had the thought that I couldn’t do this.

When Trevor and I would practice the hypnobirthing techniques; or relaxing and visualizing the previous months before Bridget was born he would mostly do a light touch massage that, when practicing would put me so deep and so relaxed. But we also would practice him talking me though visualizations or would say positive affirmations about the birth, my body’s ability, Bridget, etc. All of that was very good to practice but I want you to know what really worked for me, plain and simple: Trevor’s voice.

Because we had practiced before, when he would talk to me through each surge I was able to focus and any pain I felt would be abated. Most of the time I had no idea what he was even saying but the sound of his voice was what I needed to ground me. Even the light touch massage wasn’t as effective because I felt like every nerve in my body was on high alert so it wasn’t as soothing. If you decide to do hypnobirthing the best advice I can give you is to practice, and make your birth companion practice with you, you will need them.

As each surge rolled through my body I felt as though it was one continual surge and at that point I became a moaner. It’s true, I moaned; loud, low, and long. It was actually a natural reaction I didn’t even realize I was doing it but it really helped me to slow down my breathing and concentrate.I also got really hot and sweaty with each surge and surprisingly I was nauseous. I never threw up but I thought I was going to the whole time.

By 3:00 I was complete and had the urge to push. That’s when my water broke. Well at least the part of the sac that was ahead of the baby’s head, Bridget’s head plugged up the rest. My legs were closed and I was lying on my side as I announced my water broke and I was ready to push. They opened my legs and the real show began.

Between each surge and push Trinette would check the babies heart rate because I wasn’t hooked up to any monitoring.

After several surges the babies heart rate started to go down and Trinette announced “April we need to get your baby out right now, we are going to use gravity.”

At this point; sure, absolutely, whatever you need. They moved me to a birthing stool in the middle of surging / pushing. I declared: “It BURNS” I am pretty sure that’s when I tore, because there was fire down there. But it was so worth it. Some breaths and a few screams later, I was holding my little girl.

But not before the rest of the amniotic fluid that Bridget’s head was plugging up came spewing out hitting people’s chests.

I am not exaggerating; Trevor was standing behind me and got a bunch on his pants that ricocheted off my midwife. My mom found some later in her purse.

Sorry guys.

They then moved the birthing stool, laid me right on the ground and finished everything up; as I cooed, cried, and laughed at this sweet baby in my arms that was all mine. She had just come out of me. It is the most amazing feeling in the whole world.

We then moved back up to the bed where Bridget started to nurse and we just hung out, talked, and stared at each other for a long, long time.

I was in active labor a total of 5 hours and I pushed for 12minutes.

Bridge fell asleep and all I wanted was to get some food and sleep in my own bed.

So that’s exactly what we did.

We left the birth center at about 8:30 dropped by Olive Garden for some take out and headed home.
We all slept so well.

Saturday was perfect with just the three of us lying in bed, bonding and resting all day.

I don’t tell you this next part to toot my own horn but just to illustrate the recovery: We all went to church on Sunday. Just to Sacrament Meeting, but the fact is, I was perfectly fine and capable of going.

Now, just over a week since her birth, I can hardly recall what the surges felt like. Honestly I can hardly recall what life was like before her.

I want to thank everyone for your well wishes and support over the last week. She truly is amazing and a literal gift from God.

And because I'm sharing everything, here is a very graphic picture of Bridget's home for the last 9 months:

amniotic sac, placenta, and umbilical cord

Happy Birth-day

2011-09-30T21:01:00.000-06:00

Welcome to the world

Bridget Jude Millar

Friday September 23, 2011

3:27pm

7lbs. 15oz

20 1/2 inches

Bridget is officially a week old, can you believe it?

Me either... she needs to stop growing.

Trevor comes home from work everyday and says "she's bigger"

and he is right.

It's bitter sweet.

Our first picture as a family of three:

I am in the process of writing Bridget's birth story if you are interested.

It's a good one.

Very exciting.

Stay tuned.

Dear Bridget,

2011-09-19T15:54:00.003-06:00

You know what's silly?

I haven't given any thought to how big you will be when you are born.

But then today a girl I work with had her baby and he was over 10lbs.

I guess you can be 10lbs if you want.... or you can be 7lbs.

How's your head?

I feel a little bad for you when I go to the bathroom because I have to lean over to make sure my bladder fully empties.

I imagine it's like I am stealing your pillow, that's the worst, sometimes I steal your daddy's pillow in the middle of the night.

Not on purpose.

But then he just gets another one instead of waking me up.

He's nice like that.

We pretty much talk about you all the time, you are our best friend.

But here we are down to hours, whether it's 24 hours or 200 hours from now... I'll be seeing you.

I love you.

Love,

Mom

**I would like some advice. What is the last thing you did / wish you had done / or will do before you have/had your baby as a "this-is-our-last-date-without-kids-ever" date?

Hi

2011-09-17T22:01:00.001-06:00

I'm still pregnant.

One week until the "guess date" but we will see when she decides to make an appearance.

Here are the gritty details from my appointment on Tuesday:

(I figure it's not like I am putting this on facebook so you don't have a choice to know what my lady parts are doing, you chose to come to my blog and now you get to know all about my cervix)

*dilated to a 2

*60% effaced

*-1 station

There you have it.

She could come tonight

I could be like this for weeks.

I had no idea

2011-09-12T11:34:00.001-06:00

Do you remember a while ago when I wrote a post about nesting?

Boy was I kidding myself when I thought I was nesting.

Nesting = Crazy Lady

I may have mentioned spiders in the past but I would like to reiterate that we get A LOT of spiders in our house.

We kill 1-2 spiders per day and that is in the Summer... spiders decide to take up residence inside when the temperatures cool down.

Nesting = Realistic

So this weekend I had a freak out moment about hobo spiders biting my newborn baby

Nesting = Paranoid

I headed to IFA and bought the expensive poison; all the lady needed to say was "professionals" and I laid my card on the table.

Nesting = Professional

We then emptied each room completely to spray every crook and cranny.

(Don't worry, I didn't touch the spray and I even made Trevor wear long pants and sleaves, a hat, gloves, and a respirator)

Nesting = Thorough

Of our 700 sq ft house we only got our room and Bridget's room done.

So I told Bridget she couldn't come until we were done spraying / cleaning the house.

Nesting = Controling

Bridget decided to prove to mom that I have no control so Saturday she "dropped" (decended into my pelvis) and Sunday was full of pre-labor surges.

I quickly appologized and told her I was ready whenever she was.

Nesting = Remembering What's Really Important

Today we are back to normal so I will continue on with the bathroom.

18 days??

2011-09-09T10:09:00.000-06:00

18 days is a hobble, shuffle, and a limp away!

Do you realize 18 days is really only 2.5 weeks?

You should see my schedule for the next 2.5 weeks... everyday is chucked full!

At work I assist the international and marketing departments, next week is my company's global convention.

Global = international and Convention = Marketing

I have been a bit busy.

But so has everyone, it's nice to be with fellow headless chickens.

Maybe that's part of the reason I want Bridget to come in October... things will have slowed down a bit.

But then I was talking to my mom and sisters and of the combined 17 kids they have birthed not one child went over their due date.

I, in fact, was born on my due date.

If genetics are correct I don't think I can talk this little lady in staying an extra week.

On a different note, I made this dress this last weekend:

You can't see it very well but it's pretty cute.
I will have to post pics of the entire dress later.

I have mentioned before that I really don't fit anything anymore so when my mom and sisters took a trip to California a couple weeks ago to the fabric district I told them to pick me up something good.
We got together last weekend and sewed our little hearts out. I will dedicate an entire post to the sewing, they made some awesome stuff!

Mine is one of those t-shirt dresses & inspired by:
http://doityourselfdivas.blogspot.com/2011/04/diy-perfect-maternity-dress.html
Super easy.
Can't wait to make more.

Fashion Advice: How to Thriftstore

2011-09-07T12:47:00.000-06:00

So yesterday I told you that today you would get to hear all about my best thrift store find.

Are you excited?

Seriously prepare yourself to be jealous.

Here's how it went down.

I went to school at BYU-Idaho, let's be honest there isn't a whole lot to do in the small town of Rexburg. Which was actually perfect because we learned to make our own fun.

We would attend a lot of the activities the school put on, it was a tradition every couple of semesters to have a "D.I. Dance"

D.I.aka Deseret Industries. (Basically "Good Will")

Lizzy (roommate / bff) and I loved dances.

We would go to workout.

Really, we would.

We would get in our sweats and go down to the local club (Club Stratta) and dance so hard we would drip sweat.

TMI?

Maybe we did it for the attention? While everyone else was bumping and grinding those watching us would get to experience our best '80's aerobics moves.

BUT D.I. dances were the favorite, always the perfect excuse to go shopping at D.I.

So this particular time we went to the Idaho Falls D.I. because it's not nearly as picked over as the Rexburg one. Once inside we divided to conquer, about 15 minutes later we met up in the middle to show off our spoils.

As she is showing me some incredible lycra pants I say "I think I have those in Blue."

Then it hit me, a sad sad realization:

I already own everything D.I. has to offer!

Totally dejected we start to leave thinking we will just have to put something together from the 5 bins of costumes we had in our storage.

But then something catches my eye...

I see some rubber boots hanging behind a bunch of flannel shirts.

As we get closer and peel back all the lumberjack wear we unveil one of the most amazing ensembles I have ever seen!

FISHING WADERS!

At this point in my life I actually had never been fishing but it doesn't take an expert to know it's always a good idea to have fishing waders.

We took them off the hook and right then and there slipped them over our clothes.... perfect fit!

We wore them up to the cash register where we paid $15 for our priceless finds.

As we were leaving an older gentleman says to me, "You are going to need to get a belt for those waders, you get any water in them they will anchor you to the floor of the crick."

Noted. "Oh, thanks."

Look at the utter joy on that face.

Here we are at the dance... sweating our guts out in the rubber suits.

Then of course I needed to test them out in the hot tub to see if they would anchor me to the ground.

Proud to say my $15 waders had no holes.

AND they made my hot tub experience more enjoyable.

Is it a Problem?

2011-09-06T16:37:00.002-06:00

I have a problem.

I love to dress up.

Not just on Halloween.

Thrift stores are my weakness.

Here is a small sampling of my obsession:

(most all of the clothing worn in the pictures below are currently in my closet)

Tomorrow I will tell you about my best thrift store find...

What is it going to take to Survive?

2011-09-02T10:19:00.000-06:00

So I have seen a few episodes of Man vs. Wild.

But you know what?

Of all the things Bear Grylls has taken on with his knife and survival knowledge there is one thing we have never seen...

I for one would like an episode of:

Man VS Baby

I know he can drink his own urine no problem but I am pretty sure the survival tool he would realize he needs quickly is not duct tape...

It would most definitely be the:

I need to stop here and say a MAJOR THANK YOU to JEMAICA SALMON. She has provided a way in which I will be able to sustain my own life in the coming months.

What do you do when you have the object of your desire?

You have a photo shoot.

Thank you Tyra I think I really got the fierce eyes down... too bad it comes with the puckered lips.

You can never go wrong with the Shania pose

Feeling: Rotund

2011-08-31T15:00:00.003-06:00

Someone asked me how I was feeling the other day, I said "Rotund."

I then walked away thinking Rotund? Where did that come from?

When I think of rotund I think of THE ROTUNDA. You know, the awesome building that looks like the Pantheon?

So I decided to make sure I knew that rotund actually applied to me so I checked my thesaurus.

First word I noticed:

Beefy.

Yep, definitely applies.

On a side note...

9 Months Pregnant

2011-08-30T13:48:00.000-06:00

Officially I am nine months pregnant with 3.5 weeks left to go.

How am I feeling?

I am excited to give birth so my maternity clothes will fit again.

Seriously.

I do laundry every three days.

However, I kind of hope she stays in there until October. Is that messed up? I really do.

Belly picture to come, maybe tomorrow.

Am I Ready?

2011-08-26T16:08:00.003-06:00

I have been so lucky to have some great baby showers and I took all these pictures of the darling outfits Bridgey is going to look so cute in.

Then tragedy struck and my camera died, I can't find the charger... it's because I cleaned.

Does that ever happen to you? You know where everything is when things are messy and as soon as you clean you can't find a thing?

That is probably too much information on me.

Part of the whole reason one has a blog is to provide proof that one is perfect.

In fact, in the coming months you will see all the amazing DIY projects I will have completed while making organic baby food with one hand and breastfeeding with the other. And of course I will have perfectly coiffed hair in my spotless / awesomely decorated house. (with all pictures being uploaded directly from pinterest.)

So last week my awesome sister-in-law Stacy threw me a baby shower. It was lovely, I love seeing wonderful women I don't get to see on a regular basis.

From the group I was given a carseat.

Carseats are supposed to make you feel safe and secure, but I was amazed at how I felt complete utter relief when I saw it.

I almost wanted to start crying. "She can come home now!"

It was weird.

I felt like it didn't matter what else we had for this baby everything was going to work out because we now have a carseat.

She really likes it too, I asked her and she gave a good solid roundhouse kick to my liver.

That means yes.

Deep Thoughts

2011-08-24T15:22:00.002-06:00

By: ~~Jack Handey~~ April Millar

I am supposed to lay off the wheat.

Mostly because it gives me major heartburn but also because I could definitely use less carbs in my life.

So what did I cut out?

The crust on my sandwiches.

For some reason growing up I always thought I needed to eat the crust on the sandwich because it's the worst part so therefore it has to be the most healthy, right?

Like with potatoes or apples.

It was only a few weeks ago when I was choking down the outer rind of my PB&J when I realized there are no more nutrients in the crust than in the rest of the bread!

Best. Day. Ever.

Here is a recent text conversation between Trevor and me in consecutive order:

April: "Thanks for not having tiny hands"

Trevor: "Tiny Hands?"

April: "Every time I see someone with little hands and they wave them around while they talk I get all distracted. It looks funny."

(3 min lapse in time)

April: "Oh man Trev, I'm feeling Chinese"

Trevor: "What does that feel like?"

(We get a lot done in the day.)

I would so much rather have the stomach flu than a sore throat. I know because I threw up in my garbage can at work 2 days ago, and today I woke up with a sore throat. I compared, and today is way worse.

You thought from the picture that this was going to be very introspective and inspiring.

I guess I'm just not one of those blogs. Ye be warned.

Whoops

2011-08-19T15:41:00.001-06:00

OK, imagine, you are on a first date, better yet a blind date! I seriously hope everyone who reads this has had or will have the opportunity at at least one blind date in their lives. It's a right of passage, you haven't really lived until you have been on a blind date.

This post actually has nothing to do with blind dates although my friend Nycole has had her fair share of them and I keep trying to get her to write a book about all her dating experiences. It would be a "pee-your-pants-laughing-so-hard" kind of book.

So you are on this date, it's typical, awkward, especially at the beginning as you try to get to know one another. After you have exhausted all the regular questions:

-What are you studying?

-Where do you work?

-How many siblings do you have?

-If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would it be?

The salads haven't even come out yet so you move on to the next round of questions. Here it comes...

-What is your most embarrassing moment??

Now I don't get embarrassed easily and maybe what others think are embarrassing I just don't, so I never had a great answer for this question. Until one day I pretty much had a horrifying experience and I thought to myself after it all "you know what, that was pretty embarrassing."

It was my Senior year. I was 17 years old. I was getting ready to go to college and had joined this club called PLT (peer leadership team) It was a service club. It was a blast, a lot of my friends were in the club, and we got to do some really great things. One thing in particular was that we would go to local Elementary schools and teach the kids who were behind in their classes how to read. One day we were at a training for this program which was an all day thing. We had just had lunch and returned to the room where we were all mingling before the next series of trainings began. I was in a small group of girls chatting when I looked over at one of my buddies, Joe Bishop (the name has been changed to protect the innocent).

Joe is a really nice guy. Everybody likes Joe, he was our senior class president. Another nice thing about Joe is that he is a pretty unconventional guy. He was also the founder / president of the unicycle club and is just a funny, quirky guy.

As I looked over at Joe he had a long rope like thing hanging out of his pocket, intentional, like those guys that have the chains hanging off their belts.

When I saw it I immediately thought of boondoggle.

You remember boondoggle, right? Super cool in 4th grade? Long strip of plastic you can get in any color imaginable that you make into killer key chains (Napoleon Dynamite anyone?)

Oh good, now that you remember I won't look as stupid as I finish this story.

Where was I, oh yes, boondoggle hanging out of his pocket. (he is a pretty unique guy, not unbelievable for him to really have boondoggle hanging out of his pocket.) But not only was it boondoggle it was GLOW IN THE DARK boondoggle. How did I know? Glow in the dark stuff is always the same color, as indicated in the picture above.

So what do I do? In mid conversation I yell out "BOONDOGGLE!!!!" and I lunge to grab hold of the plastic cord. Very unfortunate Joe happened to be turning away from me at the same moment I grabbed hold of the hoop. It all happened so quickly and I was having a hard time processing why I heard a yelp of pain as the boondoggle released from the pocket and remained clutched in my hand.

As it was taking years for everything to click in my brain, one teeny tiny detail about Joe shot to the forefront of my mind making me gasp audibly.

Joe Bishop has diabetes.

Do you know what that means?

Oh yes it does, it means I ripped poor Joe's insulin pump out of his stomach... all in the name of boondoggle.

With a shaky hand I gave back his insulin pump and in a hushed voice I said "oh.... I am so sorry."

In response Joe said: "I need this insulin, I had a pop at lunch."

Yikes!

After a solid 15 min of watching him poke himself in the stomach he finally got it in and all was well. I don't know what is was like for him, but for me it was utter torture.

I was so horrified I didn't tell anyone what had happened but for the next few days people kept coming up to me saying "So I heard you almost killed our president?"

Word spread like wildfire and even months later we could be in a group of people and if there was a lull in the conversation somebody would just say "boondoggle" and everyone would crack up (including Joe).

The moral to this story:

Your mom's not kidding when she says keep your hands to yourself.

You Wanna Bet?

2011-08-17T16:26:00.001-06:00

I have noticed that most people especially those in marital relationships have a system on how they deal with those unwanted tasks or disagreements that come up usually on a daily basis...

- Who is going to take out the garbage?

- You think bathroom has NOT been cleaned. He thinks it has.

- Lets get Mexican for dinner. I'd like Chinese.

- I think your pregnant. No, I'm not.

So what is a fail proof way to quickly alleviate any further discussion?

Rock Paper Scissors of course.

via: pinterest

But for some reason rock paper scissors is not mine and Trevor's go to system.
We are daredevils! we live our lives on the edge, major risk takers! or we just really like rewards. (and probably in my case I am enjoy being right all the time). So as very important situations arise when we have differentiating answers/ideas/opinions we put a healthy wager on the table.

For example:

Ape: "I think my bellybutton is going to pop out."

Trev: "Let me see. No, I don't think it will. It still has a long way to go."
Ape: "So do I, and she is just going to get bigger in there. I'm kind of amazed it hasn't popped out yet. And look, when I pull on the sides it pokes out. It's only a matter of time."
Trev: "Yeah but your bellybutton right now still has a hole and even when you pull on it it's soft. It won't pop out."
Ape: "Do you want to bet?"

Like I said, we only reserve the betting for very serious matters.

Unfortunately this conversation happened a few weeks ago and I my bellybutton still has not popped out (the crazy thing is I really don't want it to, but I want to win... man life it tough).

But then I was talking to my mom the other day about popped out bellybuttons and she said:

"Bellybuttons don't usually pop out if you had belly fat before you were pregnant."

Thanks for always telling it like it is mom.

So I guess it's safe to say Trevor will win this one and I won't get a romantic date night and he will get the fuel pump for his dune buggy.

34 weeks

2011-08-15T13:36:00.000-06:00

Dear Bridget,

Guess what? I will get to hold you in my arms anywhere from 4-8 weeks from now. That's nuts. I love this anticipation thing, you are way more exciting than Christmas. I just can't wait!

So I was talking to your auntie Sarah the other day and she was telling me what your cousin Briggs is going to be for Halloween. And it hit me like a ton of bricks... You are going to be here for Halloween!!!!! That means we get to dress up! One of your mama's favorite things to do is dressing up. Do you know what you want to be? Not really on your mind yet? Ok, don't worry, I'm on it. I will come up with something great.

Are you getting big in there? People seem to think my belly is huge. Their exact words are: You look "like you're about to pop!" Then when I tell them we have 6 weeks left they act shocked like your due date should have been yesterday. I don't feel huge, I don't even waddle when I walk yet (well I do waddle when my bladder is exceptionally full, but I did that kind of waddling before you were in my belly.) Don't you worry Bridge, you just keep growing and we will show them what "about to pop" looks like.

I love you.

Love,

Mom

34 weeks

Hypocricy?

2011-08-12T02:07:00.001-06:00

Is it beyond pathetic of me to say I really don't like cell phones when I carry around 3 of them?

It's true I really do have three of them; I have a work cell, a personal cell, and we used to have iphones before I got angry at our phone bill and canceled them but I still carry it around to take pictures with (and for other apps I use). However, they are more often than not out of battery or on silent so I don't answer them anyway.

And now for a visual,

here is an awkward picture of me expelliarmus-ing Trevor's cell phone out of his hand. In a movie theater. They have like 1,214 ads before the movie begins to turn off your phone.

"But they are so convenient April"

Sure they may be conveninet, but they have ruined human interaction... or enhanced it ...

I haven't quite decided yet.

Memories in the Making

2011-08-10T14:15:00.002-06:00

I have some great memories from my old house, the house I lived in until I was 9. But one of the greatest memories I have was of the big grape vine we had along the side of our house. In the late Summer those grapes would get nice and ripe and diffuse the most intoxicating aroma. To this day if I get a whiff of that smell I am immediately a child again. We would pick them by the handfuls and gobble them up as we played "fairies" or "dust storm" or "wolves"or..... I could go on, I had a very active imagination, but in the most general term my games were very dramatic interpretations of "house."

But then, we moved.
To a beautiful home on the mountain (which was fantastic because now my games had a legit setting to them). Unfortunately the grapes did not follow. But something else sprung up (because that's how it happens, I definitely didn't see my dad plant them) and has been creating memories with our family every Summer since.

cue: The Raspberry Patch!

Somehow it gathers us together, we all return during harvest time to pick the berries, and make jam.

There are no such thing as child labor laws around here.

Everyone helps.

I am sure Bridget will love the Raspberry patch, she already LOVES the jam. she squirms with pleasure every time I eat it.

What Summer memories do you have?

Dear Trevor,

2011-08-09T16:24:00.000-06:00

How do you really feel about shopping?

A Recipe To Get A Husband

2011-08-04T08:55:00.002-06:00

Judging by my post title you might think I have a cheesy poem like:
1 cup of confidence
3/4 cup of friendship
a dash of makeup
Bake for 6 months slowly raising the temperature and VOILA! You have yourself one genuine husband!

But no, I have an actual recipe that will get you an actual husband.

I have proof.

If you have read the little "bio" towards the bottom of this page you will notice I said that I "wooed Trevor on a popular social media." So here for your viewing pleasure you can read what ~~awkward~~ great flirters we are: (you need to start at the bottom and read up to get it in order.)

Yes that's right, all my single ladies, the recipe to getting yourself a husband is:

BRAN MUFFINS!

Not only is this recipe delicious, it will keep everyone who consumes it "regular."

It's a win, win, win situation.

I have to give credit where credit is due, this is my sister Monica's recipe, whom is a phenomenal cook. I do not joke, she has indeed been asked if she took "cooking classes in heaven." I can't make this stuff up (but apparently the equivalent to Mr. Collins in modern form can, as he used this exceptional pick-up line at a Sunday dinner that included her husband and 5 children. Poor bloke is still the brunt of many Steed jokes today.)

Bran Muffins:
(Add ingredients in order)

4 cups All Bran

1 cup shortening

2 cups boiling water
(after you pour the water in let stand 2 min then stir together.)

2 cups sugar
1 quart buttermilk
5 cups flour
4 beaten eggs
5 tsp soda
2 tsp salt
350 degrees - 15 min

The best part about this recipe is that it makes a ton aaaannnd it's refrigeratable!!!!! Which means I pull the bran muffin mixture out of my fridge each morning, plop them into the muffin tin and in 15 min I have fresh homemade muffins!!!! I can get 12 muffins every morning for about 4-5 mornings. Best breakfast ever.

My batter that I pulled out of the fridge:

Plop.

and done!

And that my friends, is how I got myself the most incredible man I have ever met!

Donnley, Idaho

2011-08-02T11:33:00.000-06:00

This is where we spent the Millar family vacation

Isn't it fantastic?

31.5 Weeks!

2011-07-28T11:01:00.002-06:00

The other night Trevor and I were talking to an older gentleman whom we had never met when he turned to me and said
"You are expecting a girl." (it wasn't a question)
"Yes, I am, a little girl, we are really excited."
"When it's that far along I can usually tell if it's a boy or a girl, I have never been wrong."

Now here are some important details to the story: when talking to this nice man Trevor and I were inside an LDS Temple and this man was a temple worker.

So of course I am thinking I bet he knows it's a girl because he can see her or something. She must be here and this is an awesome spiritual experience. etc.

So at this point I feel like I trust this guy more than the ultrasound, and am now confident that it is a girl growing in my belly. Not that I wasn't confident before this, but now I am super duper confident and really glad I kept the pink pack 'n play.

As we got up to leave a little bit later he stops us and says
"Do you want to know how I know it's a girl?"
"YES! Yes I do!" (prepping myself for him to tell me she is beautiful with blond curls and brown eyes)
"When the belly is pointy it's a boy and when it goes all the way around it's a girl."
Wah-wah. Bummer... you mean you can't see her little spirit angel standing by me?
"Oh really? That's very... interesting."
As I walk out of the room I start to think: ...Goes all the way around?! Those are my love handles! Maybe those are just the unfortunate proportions my body has.

I think he was implying that I have a basketball belly. Which... he would probably be right:

I did take this picture in the bathroom at work, don't worry it was after I washed my hands. I know, it looks a little silly with my head cocked way to the side but I was actually on my other phone with Trevor, I was trying to hide it but it just looks funny. ......Fine, yes it's true, I went to the bathroom while I was on the phone. I actually do it all the time, so lets just say if you and I have ever talked on the phone there is a good chance you were "red flagged" as we called it in college. Give me a break, when my bladder is clear, my head is clear and therefore can have a better conversation. You're Welcome.

Pregnancy Brain??

2011-07-26T15:20:00.000-06:00

Here is a conversation I had with my mom a couple weeks ago:

Ape: "Hello?"
Ruthie: "Hi, April, quick Aleena (sister) is at costco and they have a blue pack 'n play. Have you taken the pack 'n play that we got you for your baby shower out of the box?"
Ape: "no, it's still in the box."
Ruthie: "Oh great! so do you want me to tell her to get the blue pack 'n play?"
Ape: "Is it cheaper?"
Ruthie: "I don't know if it's cheaper, but it's blue."
Ape: "Well do you have the receipt for the one you got at target?"
Ruthie: "Oh, I don't know, and if I don't you could only get store credit huh?"
Ape: "I am fine with store credit, but if it's not cheaper then why don't I just keep the one that I have?"
Ruthie: "It's a blue one, don't you want blue?"
Ape: "uh........ well I am having a girl so I prefer the pink one."
Ruthie: ".................Oh April, you are having a girl! I forgot, uh..... never mind."

(the amazing thing to me is that both my mom and my sister forgot I was having a girl. maybe that was some divine intervention and I really am having a boy.)

Keepin it Real

2011-07-20T04:09:00.004-06:00

#1: Trevor and I are headed to Idaho tonight to spend the rest of the week at a cabin for the Millar Family Vaca! I am really excited. It will be so nice to hang out with family, eat good food, swim in the lake. Especially because we have yet to immerse ourselves in any body of water this year. I am serious, not a swimming pool or even a bathtub. I haven't even ~~ran~~ hobbled through the sprinklers. So my hefty body is definitely looking to feel weightless with a good float in the lake.

Aren't we a good lookin bunch? And guess what? by November we will have three additional members to this photo! We produce like fruit flies!
***Note: only Jamie and I are expecting but in this picture Stacy was still pregnant with Carli, therefore the 3 additional members.

Picture was taken by: CallieMaePhotography

#2: I wear compression socks to keep my feet and ankles from swelling. Like a grandma. And I really like them. Wish I had some in every color.

#3: Some people are angels and they don't even know it. Yesterday I got an incredibly sweet note in the mail. I don't know who it is from, it was not signed and there was no return address. So this is my attempt at thanking whoever sent such a thoughful card, you will never know the impact you had. It was truely a blessing and an answer to prayers, thank you for being my angel.

How often is too often

2011-07-18T16:20:00.004-06:00

to play the pregnant card?

I am really finding some great benefits from my whole predicament. Or maybe I have just developed a distinct attraction to the sin of gluttony seeing as most the "benefits" deal with food.

Much to my ~~indifference~~ shame, here are a couple examples:

Trevor and I decided to go to dinner one night, my choice: pizza BUFFET! After we both ate double our money's worth and sitting and chatting for a while to digest we decide perhaps it's time to go. I can't get it out of my head that I need just one more cookie from the dessert table. But as I approach the platter all the cookies are gone! Bummer, right? Of course I realized the other 2 cookies and unnumbered pieces of pizza was probably enough anyway so we left... wrong. I convince Trevor that he needs to ask them when they will have more cookies out, and that his pregnant wife really needs one. I honestly was just thinking they would have another batch out in a few minutes, but in reality we may have waited an additional 15 minutes for them to make me my own plate of cookies... of which I ate all 5.

I may or may not have recently threatened a fellow co-worker (complete with a point at the belly and a stink eye), that I was major craving jamba juice so he should probably not challenge me as that particular gift card came up on the block at our work auction.

I am almost beginning to believe that nothing will be denied me as long as I use the belly as an excuse! Better take advantage in my remaining 10 weeks.

Did you know?!

2011-07-15T10:03:00.002-06:00

The very last Harry Potter Movie came out last night?!

Of course you know.

But did you go to an awesome Harry Potter party with a midnight showing? we did. Mostly because we wanted to dress up... and the Sweet Tooth Fairy made cauldron cakes for the party... AND we totally won prizes. Let me explain.

Don't I make the best incredibly pregnant Dumbledore you have ever seen?

Best lookin Harry, smokin hot in his quidditch robes!

So unfortunately I forgot to take pictures during the party, but it was put on by Launie at Gracious Rain. You can go to Launie's blog and check out some pictures of the event. For the past few months she has been collecting donations from businesses and etsy shops to give away as prizes. There were over 200 people there and everyone got a prize!

Trevor got an awesome fridge magnet that

makes sure everyone knows how you feel: I got this lovely Hogwarts

crest necklace:

There were also goodie bags on our seats in the theater full of: coupons, candy, pins, fake "dark mark" tattoos, MANY other treasures, and these fantastic crocheted finger puppets: (Dumbledore and Ron)

We had a blast!

And guess what? THE MOVIE WAS FANTASTIC!!! Seriously, it was by far the best Harry Potter movie! And you need to know, I judge these movies very harshly. I am a huge fan of the books and a not so big fan of the movies, but this one I feel like they finally did right. That review is even coming after staying up until 3:00AM and getting 3 hours of sleep last night, I usually hold that against the movie.

So Yes, I highly recommend Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2.

If I Had One

2011-07-14T09:11:00.000-06:00

If I had one complaint about my pregnancy it would be that I get some INTENSE HEARTBURN.

I would get heartburn before I was pregnant whenever I ate oatmeal. I don't know why oatmeal, I really like it.

But now, with my baby where my stomach was and my stomach in my throat I get heartburn with pretty much everything (well mostly when I eat gluten and sugar.... so pretty much everything I eat). It burns so bad that it makes my mouth salivate like I am about .2 seconds from throwing up.

But because I am an American and I love happy endings, there is one for this story (is this a story?) This stuff has to be made in heaven!

It is a bazillion times better than tums.

Please know that if you are one of 60 million Americans who suffer from the silent pain of heartburn, you don't have to suffer alone. There is relief available.

But seriously, this stuff is a miracle.

Recipe

2011-07-12T13:40:00.002-06:00

Here's a great recipe for the bum runs...

ENJOY!

I know I did. Ask me again in a few hours.

Do you want to know Bridget will look like?

2011-07-11T16:36:00.009-06:00

According to "Morph Thing"

somehow this:

+ this

= this:

Besides the minor.... I don't know what you would call that, a cleft cheek? She is pretty cute.

The New Addition To Our Family

2011-07-08T13:01:00.005-06:00

No. Thank goodness Bridget is still in my belly.... she has a lot of growing to do in the next three months.

So who's this new addition you ask? Well since Trevor has been working in Provo and myself in Lehi, to save on gas I drive the Truck to work and he drives our red car.

I totally just realized I have never even introduced you all to Tabitha! Last November I wrote a huge sob post about how we sold my Honda, Twanda (and Jimmy) but I never let you meet Tabi our Oldsmobile Alero who replaced her, I promise we do love her.

Anyway back to the present. Trevor and I talked about it and realizing when the baby comes I will need to drive Tabitha seeing as anywhere I would put a car seat in the truck would most likely be frowned upon and would probably get me a huge ticket. Can I just interject here and say, most of us survived the 80's, heck we survived the 90's too and I totally remember running up and down the isle's of our astro van, sleeping on floor, driving on my dad's lap, making beds in the back window. In fact I don't even know if I knew what a seat belt or a car seat was for many years.

Again, back to the present. Long story now getting to the point: If Trevor drove the truck everyday to Riverton, Provo, and back to Draper we would be spending a large fortune in gas every week. We decided we should probably look into buying him a commuter car, and that's where Louis comes in!

You may notice that it is exactly the same car that we sold back in November. Yes it is a '96 Honda Accord, Twanda and Louise are... Siblings? Twins? (fraternal of course, their coloring is different, and Louis is a little more developed with automatic locks and windows).
Sorry, what was that? Why didn't we just keep Twanda? That is a very good question and I asked Trevor the same thing, he said if we kept her we would still be in the same predicament we found ourselves in anyway. And to be honest, Tabitha, the Alero we got for a steal and is a fantastic car.

But now our "driveway" looks like this: So please meet our family:

(and it's Louis as in "Louis XIV" Well actually it's Louis as in "Louis VII" This car is literally the seventh car we have owned since we have been married.) Also Trevor considers his dune-buggy a vehicle because it is "street-legal." Although when I asked him why he didn't drive that to Provo everyday then? He said a semi truck would probably blow him off the road if it passed him... point proven.